This applies to any other form of bigotry you may have been programmed with.

If you are reading this and relate to any of it and want to be less bigot, you can free yourself by deconditioning.

Become aware of this dynamic within you. Become aware of any emotional reactions you have as you move through the world. Watch your inner life. Pause when you find yourself becoming defensive. (If there's little time and you're very reactive, just say, "Interesting. Thank you. I'll need to think about this." You're allowed to step away to process, or change subjects.)

Over time, dig to find a "woopsie, my bad" mistake-level within you, between the extremes you were programmed with. Foster that feeling. "I made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. I can learn from this and move on."

Practice. You can practice using those embarrassing moments you think of while trying to fall asleep. "Gosh that sure was embarrassing! Even after all these years I feel like I'm going to die when I remember that. But I know people who did embarrassing things and I'm still their friend."

Work to reframe and establish this middle ground, so that when it's a marginalized person commenting on your behavior, you have a calm, safe, receptive place inside to land.

That's probably the end of the thread. My breakfast got cold! Have a great Saturday, or whatever day it is for you in the future.

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#AbuseCulture #racism #deconditioning #decolonize

Now you, the sincere follower, go about your life in the real world with this package of malware in your head.

You're eventually going to say something racist in mixed company. And you're going to be called out on it. By someone who isn't a recognized religious or political authority.

Suddenly you're triggered. You can't just be, "woopsie, my bad." You're not going to be receptive or teachable. Because you've been moved to the 100% bad box. Even though the person who gently mentioned it in order to help you be the good person you think you are only wanted a woopsie level of response.

All that going to hell stuff, being cut off from your community and God's presence, all of that baggage comes along with a pressing, dire, life-or-death need to defend yourself, all the roles you've been traumatized in religious contexts, that is with you now, not the person who called you out. These are the only alternatives of being for you:

1. Chosen pure moral Christian, the only keeper and defender of all that is good and right in the world.

or

2. Depraved Satan-spawn of unworthy, unclean wickedness who is definitely going to hell, oh and God hates you.

Since you heard that racist thing from a respected religious or political authority, who is definitely in box #1, then the problem here couldn't possibly be the racist thing you said that has put you in this terrifying emotional predicament. No, it must be that your accuser is wrong. THEY'RE the wicked one. Maybe they're even the racist. How dare they! Now I must frantically prove that I'm not the racist. Maybe by repeating more things that my covert racist pastor or home teacher said.

This is your only way out. Because of your conditioning.

These are the puppet strings that are on the minds of vast numbers of white American Christians.

[Sorry for the pronoun jumping. Bad form. I just want to get this written; consider it a first draft. I know what you mean.]

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#AbuseCulture #racism #deconditioning #decolonize

I've been inspired by some thoughts this morning about why white people can get extra defensive about bigotry.

It's not white guilt.

It's white Christian guilt.

There's no level of wrongdoing that's "woopsie, I did a bad" in much of white American Christianity. The way I was raised, you're either 100% a good person or 100% bad. My religion put me alternatingly either in one box or the other, a package of cult techniques known as "Elitism" and the whole "Demand for Purity" [I originally wrote Perfection, which isn't the official term, but applies the same] to "Shame & Guilt" to "Dispensing of Existence" pipeline, a cycle I describe in my book, Recovering Agency. You're either one of God's beloved chosen to fight the wicked in the Last Days, or you're an unworthy piece of crap that God can't even stand to be around and you're going to suffer die.

I've also written in my book and described on podcasts the idea of the "pseudopersonality" created by cults in their followers. Your identity becomes so entangled in the group identity,l that the very thought of leaving or being disowned feels like a death threat. Who am I even, if not Mormon? But I have to do all these things to be Mormon. So a believer shapes their self-image and ego around the organization and its beliefs.

As you can maybe see, being a "good person" becomes directly tied to one's sense of safety. Combined with the ongoing spiritual trauma from these and other sources within the group, any hint that one is NOT a good person, particularly coming from anyone other than recognized authority, becomes a deeply conditioned trauma response.

Then the group introduces racist ideas in the context of religious teachings, but also teaches that the religion ISN'T racist. In fact, your group is the only beacon of real love in a wicked, Satanic world... ("Sacred Science", etc)

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#AbuseCulture #racism #deconditioning #decolonize