State of the Cult speech, July 2025 (transcript)
So, uh, hi. Um.
clears throat
Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, non-binary, and a-gender friends. I'm pleased to inform you that we have made the following descisions.
Theology Update 1: #Cats are ("little g") gods.
Those who are able to care for cats are strongly encouraged to do so. If you are allergic to cats, and have some money to spare, you can donate to a local no-kill cat shelter or 'Spray-and-Neuter Commuter' or whatnot.
A future goal, when we have ALL THE MONEY, is to open a cat shelter adjacent to our churchy building. With planters full of organic catnip around the catio.
Theology Update 2: #Puppets are important somehow.
This one is in progress. Maybe high-level members will have an official spokes-puppet? I'm totally using the D&D 5e homebrew "Muppetborn" race I found online as inspiration, and the Muppet Wiki category on religion as Sacred Guidance.
Oh! That reminds me!
Here's what I'm picturing for a sanctuary - a bunch of cozy little gaming areas in a cool building. With a library. And a big ol' kitchen & dining space. The rest of the building should be boring stuff like admin. With an adjoining greenhouse.
There will also be a 21+ greenhouse nearby. We need guards. Maybe someone who is allergic to cats can care for guard doggos?
Um ... let's see ... what else was I ...?
OH! Fundraising!
When you #EatTheRich, remember to grab a bunch of cash!
Looking for ideas on "Path of the Hand" for those who wish to become "High Puppeteers" (or whatever title we come up with).
I mean, I don't have the energy to go full L. Ron Hubbard.