I wonder sometimes what I'd be like with a net worth of £550billion. I certainly have intent to do good in the world, but I'd also want a team of scientists working on bio-engineering actual dragons. Sure I'd end homelessness but the skies will be filled with winged fire-breathing monsters. Projects to tackle environmental disaster, but also...... motherfuckn dragons. Will they be friendly? No. We'll need underground housing and fireproof hats.
Discussion
Loading...
@TheBreadmonkey new vacation getaway: spend a day in Ben's head! ❤️❤️❤️
I really don't recommend it
@TheBreadmonkey How much are you willing to give your dragon-making scientists, and what proportion of their time are they required to devote to dragon-making? Might there be scope to devote a certain proportion of the research budget and out-of-hours equipment use to, say, plant science research?
I've always wanted to be a mad scientist. I could have minions and black nail polish and scrawl on glass walls and everything. Is a secret underground lair included or is there a bench fee?
Changed my mind. You can have all of it. All hail you!
@TheBreadmonkey Fuck YES! Finally my supervillain origin story, I've waited so long! The dragons will be purple and breathe fire powered by sustainable biofuels. As my second order of business I shall also be bringing back those nine foot long prehistoric millipedes, which I shall use to transport snacks around my secret volcano lair like those novelty trains. My cats are now immortal and armed with lasers. I've painted a Progress Pride flag on the moon
@TheBreadmonkey I've seen Jurassic Park, I know not to use parthenogenic frog DNA so I'm practically overqualified
@afewbugs @TheBreadmonkey Hold on to your butts.
@TheBreadmonkey You do you, but *my* billions are going towards developing a city for crows that humans may also live in, if they agree to serve the crows.
@TheBreadmonkey we could start an open source project for those dragons. Setting up a Kickstarter right now. Delivery will start in late 2026.
@TheBreadmonkey You're already a far better billionaire than any of the actual lot we have now & you don't even have a billion quid yet...
I like where this is going....😂
I like it, too. I could live in that world. 
@maddad @TheBreadmonkey
@TheBreadmonkey Sounds like that shroom farm grow-house is working out for you.
@TheBreadmonkey If you're a normal person and not a sociopath/psychopath, you'd probably never be worth 550 billion... Once you had more money than you could possibly spend in one human lifetime, you'd start easing human suffering that existed around you.
@TheBreadmonkey
Adam Levine once said, when you become rich and famous enough, you discover that no matter what you do, you’ll still be successful and that’s really fucked up.
@TheBreadmonkey not like Idris on Ivor the Engine, then?
@TheBreadmonkey
Well of course your dragons would be evil, their engineered by human beans.
Now, yer all-natural dragons, like to stay illusive & hidden so they can avoid having to be evil.
I'd still prefer the threat of dragons over psychotic / senile politicians / presidents / Prime Ministers / etc.
Ok, ok, ok, but hear me out.
Penguins with surface-to-air launchers.
Could I get a grant from you too research that? Not too expensive, maybe about $100MM USD? Mind you, that's just R&D. We'll discuss production costs in phase III.
Do you mean firing penguins at people over enormous distances or arming penguins? If the latter how will they use them and who are they using them against?
@TheBreadmonkey @NuclearOatmeal
I’m telling you penguins wolnt just let you weaponize them.
And that's why this a R&D grant application. You may be right.
I may be right. <lightning/thunder/maniacal laughter>
Ah. Armed penguins. We need something to deal with the dragons. Seriously though, who's going to expect a penguin to whip out a shoulder launcher and blast out dragons in the air? If we have enough funds, we might even be able to gene edit them to yell out "Yipee-kai-yay motherfuckers!!!" if they hit one.
No, auto-carrot, I did NOT mean "motorcycles".
@NuclearOatmeal @TheBreadmonkey Do penguins even have shoulders?
@TheBreadmonkey Reign of Fire 2: Ben's Dragons
@TheBreadmonkey Yup - everything is just better with dragons. 🐉
@TheBreadmonkey So you’d be kinda like the guy from the Spider-man meme
@TheBreadmonkey It seems needing underground houses and fireproof hats are necessary whenever to make us safe form any human being that gets to be worth £550 billion.
From you, it's dragons.
From Elon, it's satellites.
@scribblanitea @TheBreadmonkey Can we put repeater collars on the dragons, so they can bring broadband internet service to the burnt-out blackened skeletons of rural buildings all around the world?
@TheBreadmonkey trickle -down economy at work, as your dragons help provide a business and employment boom in an exciting new range of products that are part of the new zeitgeist! 🐲
@TheBreadmonkey don't give thiel any more ideas damnit
@TheBreadmonkey What kind of sandwich would you eat?
Same as normal. 5 shepherds pie and mayonnaise burger baps.
@TheBreadmonkey Ideal Park Run nutrition.