I rarely wear dresses out in public. I wore one, today. Photos from Mom 馃挒
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I rarely wear dresses out in public. I wore one, today. Photos from Mom 馃挒
#Ableist bullies/rude jerks are why I don't wear dresses out in public much. I will wear what I want, when I have enough spoons to deal with public bullies. It always happens because I'm visibly disabled & even more so, when I wear anything that shows my dual long leg braces. I didn't go to public beaches for 30 years because people would point out all my surgical scars & question me about my atrophied legs & other super disrespectful crap. I couldn't deal with that - constantly.
I tried going to public beaches to relax. Not to be targeted as abnormal & be treated awfully. I only go to secluded spots now.
One thing I got a lot of, from ignorant public who have said outright rude & blatant #ableist shit like some of the below, for decades 馃憞
- You're too pretty to be disabled. *mega WTAF*
- You move like you're not disabled at all. *馃枙*
- You're not like other disabled people. *We're not a monolith*
- How much of your body is paralyzed? *Only misogynistic men have asked this before getting to know me*
- I can help you out with everything! *When I'm capable of taking care of things & will only ask for external help when truly needed.
- This is more of an ableist action more than words -> when they try doing things to help me that I never asked for, doesn't really help me & they get angry when I ask them to please ask me, before trying to help me because sometimes help from people who don't communicate well with me - ends up costing me more time/energy to deal with/resolve/diffuse.
I want & need help sometimes. Please don't think you know how better you can help me - when you've not invested any genuine time to try to know me better, first.
@PhoenixSerenity
I used to see a blind guy on my journey home quite often and he taught me something good.
You can help a blind person navigate around (if they would like some help), but you never hold them. They hold you.
You hold out your elbow and let them grip it, instead of you gripping any part of them. That way they have more agency and dignity.
I also want to add that unless person in wheelchair asks for your help - do not start just pushing them around without getting consent, FIRST.
It's happened to me before. I was terrified. Do not do this - ever.