People can only take in information that they have capacity to deal with the emotional consequences of. The tone that you share information in greatly influences who will take it in. An optimistic tone will decrease the chance that cynics will take it in, and vice versa. A shaming or righteous tone will increase intake by people who feel righteous and greatly decrease intake by people who feel like the target of the shame or righteousness.
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@shauna I like this framing. I do think there's nuance, in that sometimes, people are malleable and can be pulled to one side or the other by the tone. But this is precisely why I found Twitter so toxic eventually -- it was too easy to be sucked into fire-and-brimstone approaches, and I'm not the best me when I'm cynical. I see less of that here, so far, and when I do, I treat it like advertising and block it.
Relatedly, when you shame someone for doing something, you give them two options, more or less:
- Admit that you're right, and feel intense shame.
- Deny that you're right, and feel the relief and satisfaction that comes from avoiding shame.
Guess which one most people do.
@shauna Of course if one intends to shame you, he is trying to undermine you in other people's sights
