@TheBreadmonkey May I recommend Internal Family Systems therapy. I have found it more effective than any other modality, including two years of eye-wateringly expensive psychoanalysis that I did in my 20s. Two years of semi-regular IFS has unlocked an awareness of my capacity for self-empathy (which of course spills out into compassion for the entire world) that I never had access to previously.

@TheBreadmonkey A recurring exchange:

Me: “My mom said [one of the many things she said].”

My therapist: “Wait… she said WHAT?!”

@TheBreadmonkey 🫂

@TheBreadmonkey I can't say I understand all that at a feel-good movie level, but I like chanting to celebrate someone that just posted a W.

BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN

@TheBreadmonkey I'm glad you had this moment and that you can now share it with the world 😊

@TheBreadmonkey
My little idiot traumatized kid-inside hugs your little idiot traumatized kid-inside. 🫂

@TheBreadmonkey

🫂💜❤️

@TheBreadmonkey
🫂

@TheBreadmonkey This whole thread with men talking about their feelings has totally renewed my faith in humanity. 💗

@TheBreadmonkey Yeah, I’ve hit a weird wall with that in therapy before. Always pathologically concerned to try and account for what everyone is or might be experiencing until they ask me to address my own child-self, then it’s this glaring empathy blind-spot - like, “No! He needs to learn!”. Pretty telling, I suppose.

Also very much relate to getting blindsided by something in a film or song - just out of nowhere, BAM!, primordial feelings overload. It’s so crazy, but also kind of good sometimes.

@TheBreadmonkey
You're sounding like you are feeling the truth that you are valuable.

@TheBreadmonkey people say things like "total sap" over stories with emotion as though it's bad to feel things like an actual human with real feelings. I spent half my life trying to not show anyone any feelings and it was FUCKING STUPID so I am now determined to spend the rest of it unlearning that shit and showing the absolute fuck out of them.

@TheBreadmonkey this awareness was life changing for me. I am glad we share the knowledge. You are an amazing being, and I'm glad we get to be pocket friends. Thanks for being you! 💜

@TheBreadmonkey

Oh man, I can think about things from my childhood and feel like, Eh, that's just how it was, or maybe shake my head a little and go "whew!" but the thing that actually makes me cry is when I have the rare occasion to tell one of these ugly little stories and a friend says, "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

@TheBreadmonkey .. yea I've gone down that route too. I'm kinda like "whats the point being nice to that inner kid? that doesn't change what happened sucked."

Still trying to work it out.

@TheBreadmonkey They say those of us who suffered as children grow up to be the people we needed back then. I think you have done an incredible job at that, both with yourself and your family. 💖

@TheBreadmonkey What silly film?