As I talk to a Fedi friend about staring death in face, and coming out life alive can change people, here’s a question for y’all.
“Have you ever had a near death experience? Did it change you??”
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@farah I hope you appreciate the bizarreness of my near death.
I was working at a convenience store with gas. Gas was bubbling from under one of the pumps. Left a message with the boss. I go outside to examine things. While outside surrounded by gas, a car riding on the rim turns the corner, sparks flying everywhere. Realising I can't run far enough fast enough, I watch as death and that car approaches. Then nothing happens.
@farah I nearly drowned TWICE in different swimming pools. Friend's Dad saved me the first time, lifeguard saved me the second time. Maybe was too young at the time to really grasp how close I was to the end but in adulthood the only thing I've really taken away from it is "I gotta be more careful when I'm in the water"
@farah twice. Didn’t change me
@farah Almost drowned as a toddler in a swimming pool. Not only have I shown little interest in swimming since but even taking a shower, with water hitting my face, is a minor trigger.
@farah It wasn't sudden but it was looming.I had cancer when I was 17 years old, when I was diagnosed they gave me a week to live and told my mom to go ahead and start planning the funeral. They went ahead and did surgery and chemotherapy anyway, and a couple of times in the first few weeks in the ICU I almost died, but I came out of it and was in remission within two years, and certified cancer-free a few years after that.
I have some issues and disabilities stemming from it to this day: type 2 diabetes, chronic back and leg pain, scarring in one lung so severe that it doesn't really work so I have breathing issues, and gastro issues meaning I can't eat certain foods anymore that I loved as a teenager.
But I came through it and I'm not really afraid of death anymore. I don't want to die, I've never had a suicidal episode, but when my time comes I'm at peace with it, as I've already lived a life I wasn't supposed to.
@farah I was a few weeks away from turning four the first time. Bad car accident, many broken bones, spine damage. The bulk of my earliest memories are in the hospital, learning to walk again, or just generally in pain.
I can't say for sure that it changed me, because I was so young, but it left me with a slight disability (motor control issues) and a strong sense that it could all be over whenever.
At... 18, I was driving across a bridge as a damn broke sending our car into a river. The world around me flooded badly. I ended up in a tree, chest deep in water, for about an hour while we waited for the fire department. My dad, while driving me home from the fire station, yelled at the car in front of us for being too cautious in the same storm that had nearly killed me.
That's when I realized that my dad had a hard time recognizing the humanity in others, it took me a few years of work to overcome that issue myself. I was a smug, selfish little shit.
@farah yes, there are lots of things I don't take for granted anymore, lots of things that I find less important. There have been lots of times it has come down to luck, and my health still isn't good. I'm grateful for the time I've had, for getting to see my kid grow up, for the fact they didn't end up with their awful sperm donor, for all the cool people I've gotten to meet and things I've gotten to do and learn, stories I've heard, the small victories.
@farah I had a major car accident, the car span and flipped in the air and landed on its roof in the middle of oncoming traffic. My wife and I walked away with minor scratches but my mental health has never been the same.
And I've had lightning hit very close to me a couple of times - I never went fishing or played golf during thunderstorms after that.
@farah when I was fourteen, I was hospitalized with an idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura. It's an autoimmune disease that can occur after an infection where you develop antibodies against your own blood platelets. This resulted in absolutely zero blood clotting for me. I was extremely ill for a week and it took me at least a month to make full recovery.
But I can't say for certain that it changed me. Everyone around me was much more aware that I was near death. I only learned about it afterwards. I was too busy being sick to really think about that at all.
I don't know how I would have turned out if I had never gotten the disease. So I can't say for sure either way.
@farah I have not, but I work with grief and PTSD a lot
Here is something that is relevant
Depresh Mode with John Moe: Cat Grief is Real. So is Human Grief. We’re Underestimating and Misunderstanding Both.
Episode webpage: https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/depresh-mode/
@autolycos Wish there was a transcript
@farah they used to, but not recently
Wonder why
Personal experience: I’ve had it twice - a car accident and only surgery during childbirth. I don’t know if it significantly changed me, some people think so. I’d say, I have lot less reservations about rocking the boat in different situations afterwards. I wish I could say I grew my IDGAF bone afterwards. But as a chronically depressed suicidal person, my experience has been a bit lukewarm
