I really hate clunky similes in songs. When they say something is like something else just because it rhymes. Is that a simile? The best example I can think of (which to be fair is actually quite good) is Snaps I'm serious as cancer when I say that rhythm is a dancer. Which I enjoy even though it's obviously overkill. How serious are you about the premise that rhythm is a dancer (whatever that even means)? CANCER. Ok dude, I mean - chill out a bit. If you want rhythm to be a dancer it can be a dancer. No need to invoke such a potentially serious condition. You don't get...... Janet Jackson rhyming rhythm nation with decapitation. Or Jamiroqui rhyming emergency on planet earth with I'm sorry to tell you there's been a problem with the birth.
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@TheBreadmonkey "I used to be so careless. As if I couldn't care less" from Mary's Prayer by Danny Wilson. That's not even a rhyme, it's just the same words.
@TheBreadmonkey "nurse, there is bad news I have to deliver in obstetrics. Please prepare my conveyor belt room, I deliver my most important messages while being unexpectedly moved on different directions. I will also need you to drop a little beat on the synthesizer." --Jamiroquai
The perfect time to mention my favourite musical pet peeve (favourite as in it makes me inexplicably annoyed).
From the song Crystal by New Order:
Here comes love
It's like honey
You can't buy it with money
Love is like honey, ok not the best comparison but there's something there.
Because you can't buy it with money. What. Of course you can buy honey with money. Every supermarket in the land sells honey. It's stupid.
@TheBreadmonkey “Love Hurts” by Nazareth:
I really learned a lot
I really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it’s hot
Flames that are cold are no problem. But, yeah, HOT flames you need to be careful.
@TheBreadmonkey still not as bad as Sting’s all-time clanger in Don’t Stand So Close To Me, in which he rhymes “cough” with “Nabokov”.
@TheBreadmonkey If all these people had a more comprehensive rhyming dictionary these issues would have been avoided.
“I’m taxed as a freelancer when I say rhythm is a dancer”
“Sauron’s the Necromancer, I say!, rhythm is a dancer”
Snap! didn’t even use the answer/dancer rhyme, which is the obvious one without reaching for potentially terminal illnesses.
“Hydration’s the answer, when I say rhythm is a dancer”
@TheBreadmonkey How often are you really hit in the eye by a large pizza? Who's throwing all these pizzas around?
@TheBreadmonkey i'm here for rhythm nation decapitation
@TheBreadmonkey thinking about somng doctoring this, what if they said instead
This club is like a furnace
Parents, keep active life insurance
I mean unless they still want the song to still be about dancing instead of broaching the topic of the audience's collective mortality
