I realise this isn't an original thought but what is with the things we have to do all of the time. Once again I must make dinner. Every day. Relentless. Have a shower, brush my teeth, go to the toilet. Why can't we just do it once a week and be free to live our lives. Or once a year. Like sorting out road tax. Sorry I can't come to work today it's my toilet day. It seems insanity to me we have to brush clean a bit of our skeleton twice a day. None of the rest of it needs brushing. I don't want to make dinner. I have no inspiration. The Muse has deserted me. Can I just put two whole onions in the microwave for 20 minutes? Here you go, kids. Here's your hot onion. You have to peel it yourself - isn't that fun!
Post
Replies:
0
@TheBreadmonkey audiobooks make all of these things less of a drag for me. Another thing you could do is to install a series of proximity lasers connected to poison dart guns in your bathroom. This will make teeth brushing both challenging and exciting. Not only that, you will learn to bend like Catherine Zeta Jones in that movie where she's a cat burglar (which really is a weird thing to call that type of burglar, is it because they knock things off surfaces as a calling card?).
@TheBreadmonkey There’s a reason that most fiction was written about people who had servants to do that sort of thing for them. Or kids who have parents to do that sort of thing for them. Or wild animals who don’t have to file tax returns. Except maybe in Wind In The Willows, there seems to be some sort of state apparatus there and the role of the animals in it is unclear. Certainly they can be locked up for traffic offences.
@chiraag @TheBreadmonkey I’ve not seen Zootopia. I assumed it was mainly for kids and furries.
@Nickiquote @chiraag @TheBreadmonkey
i fancy Judy Hopps
@amiserabilist @Nickiquote @chiraag
I would like to go on adult adventures with Nanny Plum off Ben and Holly
@TheBreadmonkey @amiserabilist @Nickiquote @chiraag silly old Ben, back to your pen 🪄
@TheBreadmonkey @amiserabilist @chiraag She’s a tiny fairy Ben. You’d split her in two.
@Nickiquote @amiserabilist @chiraag
She could turn us both into frogs where we could absolutely go to town on one another
@TheBreadmonkey @amiserabilist @chiraag I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you actually wanted to fuck a frog. I take it all back.
@Nickiquote @amiserabilist @chiraag
Oh maybe not. Apparently when a daddy frog and a nanny plum love each other very much, the daddy frog climbs onto the nanny plums back, holds her in a wrestling move and then finishes all over her back as she shoots her eggs out her bum or whatever. Every day's a school day.
@TheBreadmonkey @amiserabilist @chiraag Oh, I thought you knew and were into finishing on unfertilised frogspawn.
@amiserabilist @Nickiquote @TheBreadmonkey @chiraag that was the first toot I saw booting up Mastodon this evening. I think I'll go again =D
Now Im wondering how palatable a hot microwave onion would be. Maybe it would come out like when you roast garlic in the oven you can just squish the pulp out of the peel? maybe it would steam in its skin?
Fuck, now Im a try it. Will report later.
Anyways - dude. Buy a slow cooker. Make one big-pot-o-stuff Saturday, and another on Sunday then alternate between the two for the rest of the week.
@TheBreadmonkey Sisyphus "Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux."
