was looking at my bright, artistic, sensitive daughter bringing me tea after we watched the latest episode of Animal Crossing and thinking that the caregiving relationship already started to shift without even me realising. I don't remember when it was that she started cooking for us more often than I do, and then it just became the norm. I mean I still expect at some point she'll leave the nest cos she's an adult now and capitalistic nuclear family has undermined the natural order of things, but we still experience it like this, on the edges.

and what this made me think is when she was born, this tiny red little thing unable to cry or breathe. of her for 15 days in these vaguely dystopic-looking but literally life-saving incubators, now bright yellow from jaundice, metal and plastic tubes on her face. what a delicate dance of flesh and machine it must be, to calculate the precise parameters to pump a newborn's lung. to engineer breath in, breath out.¹

she's like this entire person . all of her would not exist if it wasn't for public healthcare, for the labour of the nurses, for whoever it was who was responsible for developing and engineering and assembling these machines. medical researchers and industrial engineers and factory workers who saved my daughter's life.

if there's a point to technology it's that. and I don't know the names of any of these people.¹ I know the names of Sam Altman, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, Bill Gates—charlatans who don't actually do anything but merely imprint their names on trendy baubles developed by other people. but imagine what it must be like, to reach retirement after you have worked on the medical principles or engineering parameters of ICUs. even an otherwise thankless job putting them together in some Shanghai plant. you think of your work and multiply it in your mind by how many lives will be saved through it, present and future. compare that with the unfathomable amount of effort, investment, and resources burned to put more ads on screens or make depression-inducing apps more addictive or developing entirely useless spam generators ("AI").

1)

In 1964, pediatric radiologist William Northway – while conversing with neonatologist Philip Sunshine at Stanford University Medical Center – noted a consistent pattern of cystic changes in the lungs on the radiographs of premature babies. Northway found that all of the babies had received high concentrations of oxygen and mechanical ventilation, causing damage. His 1967 paper in which the term bronchopulmonary dysplasia was coined described the disease and comorbidities. This led to worldwide reductions in supplemental oxygen levels and ventilation pressure, improving the health outcomes of premature infants. The paper has been called "one of the most important, most cited, and influential articles in the history of neonatology".

a delicate dance.

2) a small fraction of names: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neonatal_intensive_care_unit#History