@JdeBP @cstross @GetCarter making someone watch that for their job should be an OSHA violation.
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@cstross So, I get this right, all these reports of "Only one ticket sold for the opening night" actually just refer to fhe local film critic?
an elaborate piece of designer taxidermy, horribly overpriced and ice-cold to the touch
It is rare for any piece of art to so fully capture the spirit of its subject.
@cstross Looks like a script for the Bond villain of our times: vapid, more vapid and carelessly destructive in OTT white and gold.
@cstross I see we've found the one person who bought a ticket
@cstross Whew, thanks for the heads up.
LOL. I wasn't going to see it.
@cstross
this is the opposite of the hooker with a heart of gold trope, i''m guessing
@cstross "White and gold – that’s so you,” purrs one of her lickspittles... Lickspittles!
@cstross "Triumph of the Shill"
@cstross
“designer taxidermy” seems appropriate… 😐
@cstross
reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_search
Get in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
This weekend, Amazon is premiering its $40 million Melania Trump documentary. It already seems to be a flop.
But we're going to take it one step further by messing up Melania's Amazon search results. Specifically, we're going to amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie. {MORE}
@503bartley @cstross Clickable link to Reddit: https://old.reddit.com/r/esist/comments/1qqqe05/get_in_were_messing_up_melanias_amazon_search/
And direct link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HN9XC1H
The book is perfect: It's absurd, the cover is ridiculous, and it's free, so we're not giving Amazon any money.
redditors have already pushed the book high: It's currently the 15th result when you search "Melania Trump." That's crazy. 2 days ago it wasn't even on the first page. With a little more push, we can keep this moving up the charts. We just need people to:
"Buy" the book (it's free)
Share this post and get other people to buy the book. {MORE}
@503bartley @cstross it's free but you need an amazon account... well I might create one to buy a free book.
Also, is it just "free as in beer" or also free from digital restriction management?
That's it. Then we can celebrate as an erotic novel about a bat monster Melania Trump becomes a higher and higher search result on Amazon.
Please share!
UPDATE:
IT'S WORKING. This book is now the EIGHTH result on Amazon when you search for Melania Trump. We are going UP!!! KEEP SHARING!
@503bartley @cstross in the UK for me, the book was on the second page last night. It’s is now 20th on the first page, and about halfway down! Keep up the amazing work everyone!
@richrockster @503bartley @cstross
1st in kindle results for me!
@503bartley @cstross It’s number 2 as of 30 seconds ago, for me at least 😝
@UweHalfHand @503bartley @cstross For me too. #2 for both "Melania" and "Melania Trump".
It's rising on Amazon Germany too. #3 for "Melania" and #4 for "Melania Trump".
@503bartley @cstross the author's picture is the police sketch of D.B. Cooper, which I very much appreciate.
@cstross
However, if we assume the purpose was to give Ms Trump $30M (a contribution to her Running Away Fund?) then it presumably counts as a success.
@cstross
The review attributed to Variety seemed helpful:
If it was shown on an aircraft people would still walk out.
The review in @GetCarter 's thread is one of those recycled quotes that actually comes from elsewhere according to Snopes; but lower in the thread people have suggested that the ticket sales for these places can be accounted for *entirely* by the news/magazine movie reviewers who did not have advance screenings.
https://mastodonapp.uk/@GetCarter/115982369126621417
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #VueCinema #Islington #Amazon
They're not far off, either.
I just turned up this. Apparently, 4 people joined The Metro's reviewer on opening night, plus an additional 1 who was apparently another movie reviewer.
So a third of the audience was people who were being paid to watch the movie. (-:
https://metro.co.uk/2026/01/30/sat-a-near-empty-cinema-melania-thought-26612808/
Amusing coincidence: Kimberly Bond also writes features for Cosmo.
@GetCarter
#Melania #MelaniaTrump #USMovies #Amazon #TheMetro
@JdeBP @cstross @GetCarter making someone watch that for their job should be an OSHA violation.
@arrrg @JdeBP @GetCarter There is no OSHA in the UK. (Different laws, different enforcement regime.)
I too was concerned for their wellbeing afterwards.
And they don't have the option of doing what that lady who left after 20 minutes did.
https://mastodon.scot/@JdeBP/115983497912180622
The Daily Record reported a total of 16 tickets sold in Edinburgh and Glasgow as of this morning. ABC reported 50 pre-booked tickets across the whole of Australia for opening day.
https://dailyrecord.co.uk/news/politics/melania-trump-documentary-sells-just-36641836