Someone tried to be polite by telling me I had nice teeth and I panicked and responded by saying:
"Oh, that's just...
how they grow...
out of my skull."
So apologies in advance to anyone that tries to have a conversation with me.
Discussion
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@Alice "Thanks! I mostly use them to chew food!"
@Alice hey, yer mouth bones are purty
@Alice This was the absolute correct response.
I was getting coffee the other day and the barista told me I had “really shiny hair” and I still don’t know if that was good or bad.
@rk I think it was good! It's better than "holy shit that looks dull and flammable!"
@Alice thank you. I like teeth too, and have necklaces made of human teeth
@Alice Reminds me of an incredibly tiresome first date I had a few years ago at which, after quizzing me Gestapo-style about details in my dating profile, suddenly became over-familiar and told me I had "such sad eyes".
The words, "well I was a lot happier before you implied I'd lied about my job, told me you hoped I was picking up the bill and then ordered a £40 bottle of wine" just sort of fell out of my mouth before the filters kicked in.
We didn't meet again. 🤷🏻♂️
@ApostateEnglishman Congratulations on your deflection from an eternity of misery!
@Alice Yeah, that's what I thought! 😆
@Alice happy weird face bones!
@Alice The perfect follow-up is to then recite random teeth facts until they start walking away in a hurry.
@catsalad Perhaps I can tell them about how the creepy dad from the case about the West Memphis Three removed some of his teeth to (PROBABLY) hide evidence that he killed his own child (and others), instead of the crooked police force's current suspects who were some very innocent boys whose worse crime was looking like a Hot Topic ad.
@Alice This retelling of Red Riding Hood took a weird turn
@Alice my favourite odd response is always, "thank you, I'm very attached to them"
@keira_reckons @Alice Thanks, but they're not for sale.
