It always makes me sad when another fedi user - and, in my experience, it is always a woman - says that they feel unsafe posting here, because of replies they get.
Control over who can reply to a toot would be amazing, as a way to improve this without them needing to mute or block post-harm.
@neil why can't people simply be decent, if not even nice to each other? *Sigh*
@neil
I think this would be against what this platform stands for.
The solution, and this is everyone’s responsibility, is publicly calling out inappropriate behaviour
@neil
You meant like control over who can subtot oneself's posts?
@ Neil Brown are you talking about public toots with only private replies?
All toots, irrespective of visibility settings.
And no just "private replies", but the ability to set "no replies", and "replies only from people that I follow" (and perhaps other levels of control too).
@neil it is the most upvoted issue on mastodon:
@neil Mysogeny is a real issue. Anyone can hide behind an interface and abuse others. Basically cowards.
@neil This is one of those cases where it's not really about gender, it's about kyrirarchy, because (for example) people of colour say the same things here.
We need to find ways to make fedi safe for everyone -- across every axis of social power.
@neil
It makes me sad in general in any context when people express that they feel unsafe doing what they want to do or expressing themself in any given environment. Yes I hear that 1000 times as often from women as from men because society really is way more unsafe for people that present as female. I feel like Mastodon and Fediverse is an online space where more people feel safe than in general online, so lets not self flagellate about it. But could we do better? Could we make more people feel more safe? 100% yes of course we could. Let's work on that
@neil the problem is more the server itself, had been on two or tree server, never had the issue (i do not say the issue don't exist), just say that on server with good moderation, the issue is blocked even before starting.
@neil Women. Black people. Jews...
@neil
I've already been called the N word and I've only been here a week or so. It's surprising how nasty people get when online. 😕
@Shewolfnm I'm so sorry - that is just awful :(
@neil new here, what’s a “fedi”? I keep seeing this word but I can’t understand what it is
Welcome!
The term "fediverse" is just slang for the network(s) of federated services/servers, of which your server (wehavecookies.social) is one.
A "fedi" user, here, is someone who uses one or more fediverse services.
Wo ist das Problem, dann muss man halt seinen Beitrag mit der Einstellung "Only Follower" veröffentlichen!
Ist halt schade um die Möglichkeit seine Gedanken in größerer Runde auszutauschen und auf neue interessante Menschen zu treffen!
Vielleicht hilft dann auch der Umzug auf eine andere, kleinere (?) Instanz.
Oft lohnt sich auch die Kommunikation auf die Metaebene zu heben, konnte so schon manches Missverständnis klären!
I suspect that the online translation I used is poor, as it makes it sound like you are trivialising the impact of these replies on women, and suggesting that the onus is on them (moving instance, or engaging differently) to solve the problem.
Ich bin Frau und das schon über 70 Jahren.
Ich habe meine eigenen Erfahrungen, nicht nur positive.
Ich versuche stets die Opferrolle zu vermeiden und selbst aktiv zu sein.
Das "Problem" bezog sich spontan nur auf die technische Frage, wie kann ich dafür sorgen, dass nur Follower antworten (können).
To my mind, it is more than "only followers", but rather then ability to say "no replies" at all.
@neil Can you in RL control who`s replying to words you said?
This is real life?
@neil Then the actual face to face world
Sorry, I think that I am misunderstanding.
Yes, women (and others) get harassed face to face too, and yes, absolutely, men should stop doing that. In the absence of that, we should put safety measures in place.
We have the ability to do different things in different contexts.
If that is what you are saying, then I agree completely.
@neil I've had women say they were leaving things as niche as language exchange apps because of appalling comments. My wife joined a pen-pal, slow delivery, letter-like service and had to leave because of what she got.
I honestly don't know what the fuck is wrong with a lot of men.
@curiousbadger Indeed :(
And this is a (predominantly) men thing, not a tech thing.
@neil In account settings there's a followers-only option for reply privacy. That's probably what you want.
Hmm... What setting are you thinking of here, as it doesn't ring a bell?
It doesn't solve the problem completely, but being able to restrict replies to people I follow would be a great start.
Ah, reply privacy, being the visibility level attached to a reply I make.
No, that is something completely different to controlling what replies I allow to my toots.
@neil Huh. I thought there was a separate one for replies to your post, not your replies. Sorry, apparently I was wrong.
I also don't see anything for limiting visibiility to only those you follow, only to followers. There's an option whether or not to auto-approve followers, you can turn that off to give you control over who can follow you. That seems to be as far as it goes.
Going to add my voice to the requests for more reply privacy options.
@tknarr It's all good :)
@neil I'm still looking at what's involved in creating subscribeable blocklists. The basic hook into the block functionality on the server is obvious enough, but the list itself involves learning everything about the ActivityPub protocol and the federation and syndication models. Making it useful involves having categorization and user ratings while preventing abuse of them too. Straightforward in concept, terminally hirsute in implementation.
@neil
🙏 I've thought about this a lot, and I would certainly like to be able to restrict replies on a (very) few posts.
A recent humourous post on mansplaining was full of that, and I ignored it. And some affirming trans posts can get some odd replies.
Folk here in the Fediverse would hopefully use it judiciously I feel - in my case just a small percentage of posts, as generally the conversation generated is enlightening.
There is a word filter system, which is probably not the level of control you are proposing, but it is a real-time start.
I have the classic insults blocked, but, for cause, sadly.
@Edelruth Yes, I filter *a lot*.
As you say, a useful, tangential, measure.
I just wanted to draw your attention to some some ways to manage the visibility of a post. Could your outline additional controls which could be established?
@evdelen As you say, that is post visibility, not reply control.
possibly your client is suboptimal
here's the mobile web interface on android with the followers only option
@joriki That is visibility, not reply control.
@neil I would like it as well, not so much for restricting replies to my toots but being able to see 'ah this person only wants replies from mutuals' and therefore not sending a reply which at best won't be read and at worst will annoy.
(I have come across accounts who want to restrict replies and there is no way to advertise this)
@neil
I believe there is a plan to add something like followers only, but one problem is that servers that are not upgraded to a version that supports that flag wouldn't honour it.
Not that it's a reason not to do it, but it'll take a while before it's effective.
@neil
https://socialhub.activitypub.rocks/t/fep-5624-per-object-reply-control-policies/2723
Bit technical, but it seems good people are on it.
@neil I’d really like that feature too. Reply guys be damned, some things are just… better without two way comms.
@neil that would be perfect. An “only allow replies from people you follow” option would help so much.
@alex @neil Yes and no. If someone has fears, then yes. But the way I find new people to follow is when they interact with my posts. Having an option like that turned on would prevent me from doing that.
So I guess my answer really is YES, as long as it's an OPTION.
I have no qualms about blocking assholes, and I really don't care what they say behind my back. Unlike them, I have a life and it isn't centered on social media.🤷🏼♀️
Every time I mention this, at least one man pops up to say that they would not want to follow a woman who chooses to restrict replies.
So here, I have covered it in advance :)
@neil First off, those dudes can fuck all the way off. The real problem is that someone will run an alternate version of the server, a la glitch or whatever, that ignores such metadata/flags. There are so many things we give up on my being decentralized... I just don't know man. I wish we could provide an environment where people felt free to express themselves. Sadly the best response to bad-actors might be mob-drown-outs? I wish I was smart enough to give constructive input here. :(
@neil FYI, there is a lot of discussion about what a “no replies” or limited replies feature could look like here:
a problem that solves itself LOL
