A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post in response to Philippa Perry’s advice column on parental estrangement. After many requests to share it more fully, I’ve published it at the link below.
It’s an attempt to describe my own experience, and how distance is usually reached slowly, not suddenly.
https://kristiedegaris.substack.com/p/parental-estrangement
#Estrangement #Parents #Children #UK #Scotland #Writing #WritingCommunity #Reading #Books #Parenting
@kristiedegaris Thank you for sharing this. I can definitely relate. Some parents resist _any_ attempt their kids make to set boundaries, no matter how reasonable. (I’m reminded of the scene from your book where your mum refused to say what time she’d show up to your house.) I hope you are some day able to repair the damage, but I 100% respect your decision.
@kristiedegaris Thank you for this. I’m not currently estranged from my mom, but I hold her at a distance. I struggle with it because I know her history, why she is the way she is, and I think she does her best (most of the time), but I need to protect myself. It’s such an ambivalent situation.
@kristiedegaris I've been estranged from my parents for just over ten years now. I'm acutely aware of the cost/benefit tradeoff. The most painful part is the knock on effects with my siblings, who are not estranged.
I'm always struck by quite how similar estanged adult children's stories are.
@kristiedegaris what a well-considered, nuanced and thoughtful piece. Thank you for sharing it.
@kristiedegaris What a beautifully written piece. I'm currently low-contact with my mother and the months we're not in touch are sad but easier.
