Like most of us, I’ve been re-thinking my relationship with my phone. Because it suuuuucks.
I started a new section of my blog this year, for non-music-related posts. This is my second ever entry:
The Anxiety Machine: your phone does bad magic
Discussion
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@meljoann Your blog is now in my RSS reader🎉 And I read your first post too. I just want to say that your 2025 list in that post is impressive. And I think the internet troll eyes you're looking through may be Synergy Myers'.
Just picking out two points: live streams and the gravitons festival. These are so much better than putting out "content". You're building community by having a bunch of weirdos (and non-weirdos?) hanging out talking about gay condors etc. And that has immense value.
@defaultmediatransmitter aw mate 💜💜💜 Thanks. You’re totally right. “Content” feels just ick. Making nice spaces for us to hang out: them’s rosy feelings x
@meljoann good luck! this is important 🙏
powering the phone off for a few hours now and then might definitely help a bunch!
@meljoann I barely use my old iPhone, but… I’m constantly on my tablet, which I also use to draw and to make music… I try to eradicate realtime news from my fedi feed, which isn’t easy, and it doesn’t take much of it to slip through and fuel the fear… but my feed also brings me so much joy and inspiration and even a sense of community, which I don’t get as easily from my RSS feed. Such a high wire act. I’ll be trying those exercises ❤️
@sknob 100%. Fedi is a net positive for me too. But I haven’t blocked newsy stuff so it can be overwhelming… maybe I should consider a separate list for news stuff or something… hmmmm…
@meljoann I block or mute accounts and hashtags and keywords, permanently or temporarily without hesitation. I know where to find news, and not following things in real time has made a huge difference for me, for the better.
omg "sleepwalk-towards-fascism" hit fucking hard!
ok i finished the post.
i just want to mention one positive thing: you don't feel like that with your laptop! that is fucking great!
@lislegaard oh yeah! Laptop == productive and creative times for me. I’d like to get to the stage where that’s what my smartphone means too. It’s just a computer after all!
@meljoann word. so many things I can relate to. :)
A few years ago I permanently removed the SIM card from my smartphone (deleting all communication channels on it, signal etc.), and permanently moved the card into my dumbphone. It took a bit of time, but gradually my head began to understand that the smartphone "couldn't hurt me anymore", it turned into an object, much like a brick – the bad magic had been exorcised. I happily use it (mostly offline and somewhat like a laptop) now, turn on, turn off, but only when I need it for specific things.
My SIM-enabled dumbphone on the other hand, being extremely inconvenient to use and just barely useful for anything at all (calls/sms only) never aquired that bad magic – it remained something with a threat level akin to an electric doorbell, annoying people might ring occasionally, but then life goes on without much emotional turmoil. Yay.
But yeah, all in all, things remain complex as ever. Dumbphone life requires a high level of privilege and brings its own hundred headaches. I am forever in awe with that professor I read about whose website at the university department supposedly says "I don't use email. You can't contact me.", that sounds like a higher plane of existence to me. (*_ _)人
@freebliss oh yeah, totally. Various work commitments and a few other needs mean I can’t go full dumbphone. But that’s a great idea… I think “turning it off sometimes” is the next step!
@meljoann you got this! ＼ʕ◕ᴥ◕＼ʔ
@meljoann very helpful. Thanks for this. Anxiety Amplifier, anxiety generator…
@elifyalvac exactly! Maybe if I had zero anxiety I could safely use a phone lol
@meljoann I’ve been attempting to heal struggling with severe anxiety, so I hear you that it could be worse but I think even for those with less damaged nervous systems this thing does bad magic. Very insightful article and it comes from a very human point. Prompted me to think, indeed, why is this structured around follow counts and engagements also? Why take the same shit from what we escape? On another note, I am so glad to have discovered your website. I look forward to reading more and trying some of the relaxation exercises. I will check out your music as well!
@elifyalvac so glad the exercises are helpful! Same, my nervous system has been just off-the-scale the last few years. But these few things have helped.
Completely agree about follower/followed. It still feels weird even though we’ve been living with this system for years. I prefer blogs and RSS: you don’t have to know any stats at all if you don’t want. And I don’t want!
Gotosocial lets you hide all those stats, but all the apps try to show a number. I wish more apps didn’t show em.
@meljoann
🤗!! I did the "flashback halting protocol”! Very good timing! Thanks!!
And I have been enjoying your website now. Super user-friendly and helpful. I am keeping the tab open to look more in the following weeks. Much to learn and discover but I am being slow, including not having been able to set up Faircamp yet! I want to give a proper listen to your music but it will be on bandcamp for now. Lovely label, exciting! I have just enjoyed Translate Me. The colours in the video and your singing raised my mood. Really good sound design: combination of contrasting sounds working in harmony.
@elifyalvac thank you so much! Lovely to find you and your sounds on here 💜
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