Here at the Post Office physical research laboratory we do real science. Our package accelerators have allowed us to make genuine advances in the field of logistical mechanics. We have proven the Heisenberg-Comstock conjecture¹ , and also shown that the Tolman-Oppenheimer-Aramex limit applies to package sorting centers—once the mass of packages in a single location exceeds the limit it becomes impossible for all packages to escape; at least some items will be trapped forever inside the Envelope Horizon.

We are extremely proud to share that our latest result, published in _Nature_, confirms the conditions required for Quantum Shipment Tunneling to occur, and describes the successful teleportation of a pair of pink fluffy cat ears from Shenzen to Wodonga, without traversing the Sunshine West vortex.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

¹ The HC theorem states that the more frequently you click the status refresh button, the less accurate the results become.