Australian government: We want to ban anyone under the age of 16 accessing social media.

Google, Meta, etc: You can't do this to us... Errr... Our customers! This is big government interfering in the free market! We believe in freedom! Government does best when it does least!

Australian government: Unfortunately, it seems there's no other way around this, except to require /every/ Australian to provide ID to prove their identity before using social media services.

Google, Meta, etc: No way! There's no chance in... Hang on a sec, you're making people provide us with what?

Australian government: Unfortunately, yes. Every single Australian will basically have to provide uploads of their identity documents to Google, Meta, and the other Silicon Valley surveillance mongers.

How else will they prove they're over 16?

Google, Meta, etc: What sorts of documents?

Australian government: Oh, passports, drivers licences, identity cards...

Google, Meta, etc: Well, we will still blatantly disregard and circumvent your no social media for 16-year-olds policy.

But we do like the idea of everyone giving us even more information about themselves. The law's the law, right?

Australian government: I mean, it will be done through neutral 3rd parties...

Google, Meta, etc: Oh we totally understand. Google Play Secure Identity Verification and Meta for Business Age Verification will totally be organised into separate holding companies.

We uphold the law in every jurisdiction we work in after all...

#auspol #satire