Security? Oh, you mean those mythical beasts we tell tales about around the digital campfire. Meanwhile, in the real world, someone's "secure" password vault is a Excel Sheet named "Passwords_FINAL_REALLY_FINAL.xlsx" being emailed around like a halloween candy. Forget your fancy backend architecture and battle-hardened sysadmins and firewalls. The true corporate security strategy is apparently hope and a prayer emoji.

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