I am writing from my legal incarceration in the Mustics™ Debtor's Prison, Brighton UK.

At 09:00, Monday morning, I received this text message from my boss, Synergy Myers:

You have committed acts of FRAUD and treason against me and for this reason I am TERMINATING you!!!

Later, the van came.

The corporate arbitration system has not supplied any information as to the nature of my wrongdoing. However, I am fully cognizant of having agreed to their legally binding decision to incarcerate me, as I have read an understood all 5,0006 pages of my employee contract. I will not be contesting the ruling.