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established that i feel fine about everything else in my life besides work, where the high technical goals i have set for myself have graduated from being recklessly ambitious to possibly losing any relevance to anyone.
i define my worth through my ongoing work and it's becoming a problem. ai is disorienting me. it is simultaneously too useful to anyone but me, and not good enough for a disciplined monolithic gesamtkonzept.
i used to have an idea of the future. but it's all chaos now.
so i feel fine as long as i don't think about work.
the dwindling online engagement adds to the despair. the technical conversations we regularly had before elon shot twitter to pieces, it's all gone now. the angry walls of lamentations everywhere get lots of attention which just depresses me more. i don't know how to deal with all this, it makes me feel ronery. is a choice necessary or can i just wait it out? no idea.
oh and there's the whole end of the world "don't look up" business too.
@lritter i definitely can relate to that.
AI is good, and helpful too, if nothing else, its a good rubber duck. Its "raw thinking power" that can help think stuff through much faster than i ever could, just like e.g. a calculator adds up numbers much faster than i ever could.
There are many who reject AI entirely and imho AI is only okay if we can keep agency and a lot of things being not AI are needed to enable that, so we can stay in control of our lifes despite AI being around, or not?
@serapath but where is all that number punching going? what are we building? is it worth being built? does it make the world better? for you the answer is clear as far as i could gather, you'd probably only like it to have greater impact. but for me, lately i don't know anymore.
@lritter i am inspired.
what i build is essentially a prototype or something that enables an ecosystem to cooperate in a specific way, but it is by far not as lean and efficient as it could be.
of course i tried to minimise the stack as much as possible, but at some point you have to pick your battles i guess.
now once it works and maybe goes through some rounds of refinements, the question is, how to make it work with the least overhead posssible imho
thing is, i arranged my whole life around my work. the silly idea was that once there was achievement, a secure income, i would have time for decorating the house, for being with family and friends, for a real vacation, all activities that i consider frivolous as long as nothing's done. i guess time really makes fools of us all.
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