Had a conflicting interaction. Made a silly joke which someone pointed out was ableist. My gut reaction was to point out my joke had nothing to do with disability....despite being totally open to interpretation that way if viewed through the lens of disability. Which I hadn't even considered. Which I suppose is sort of the point. 馃憤
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@TheBreadmonkey you may have said it in jest but there was a serious safety point in there too which was totally valid. There are reasons that some illnesses and disabilities preclude sufferers from certain activities which is sad and unfortunate for them but still the right thing to do. My daughter is now disabled and I now see so much more obstacles that I didn鈥檛 see before but there are other things that just couldn鈥檛 be made safe regardless of how much you might want to.
@TheBreadmonkey As @woe2you said, some people find offence in all sorts of places, especially on behalf of others. That person has a bunch of arguments and blocking notices in their timeline. In my experience, people who find fault with lots of others should consider it *they* have a problem.
IMHO You are one of the most even-handed and thoughtful people I have encountered on here. So don鈥檛 sweat it.
@TheBreadmonkey Ben, while as a good person it is nice of you to reflect on their interpretation, but if it is the one I think I saw (the driving test thing?) I felt it was a bit unfair.
The article was not critical, it just reported the stats, so the MSM accusation was unwarranted. As for your view, it really was the mildest of humour about an extreme situation. It鈥檚 hard to imagine tanyone who has failed their test over 1000 times has zero self-deprecation or humour around them about it.
I totally understand this but also in the comments I likened someone unable to pass their driving test as stupid (making fun of them not able to work out how to get in a car or trusting them to get a bus). Whilst not meant through the lens of disability (which in itself was problematic), I can see how casually dismissive it was of people who have different lived experiences to me. And critically, when someone says to me that I offended them, I try not to respond 'no I didn't', but to understand why I might have. I'm not saying I'm always going to agree, but can see how someone who's disabled reading a post that totally disregards their experience or pain, might say something at me pointing and going hurr-hurr. I thought on balance whilst I didn't mean it, I clearly offended a couple of people and that's never my intention.
@TheBreadmonkey That鈥檚 good of you. I felt the criticism was OTT; and having a go at a stranger for a perceived slight they might not have meant is in itself an abuse.
@TheBreadmonkey Yeah, the way I see it is if someone tells me that something I said was ableist, I accept it even if I didn't mean it that way (and of couse I wouldn't deliberately say anything that's ableist). There's obviously a better way to say it and the onus is on me to sort it out.
This indeed. The funny thing was my initial reaction in my head was "*I'm* not ableist, I didn't even *consider* disabled people", and then the penny dropped with a big clang like a bucket falling into an empty well.
@TheBreadmonkey
YOUR learning, regardless, is the important bit.
馃檪
@TheBreadmonkey
as a note, this could also be YOU鈥橰E learning.
(Ha! and true.)
@TheBreadmonkey My response would be what it always is in these instances that, just as most things, conversation is a game of give and take and there should be equal onus on the listener to interpret remarks in context as there should on the speaker to frame their remarks with care. I'm disabled. If it was a funny joke, I'd laugh, knowing you weren't intending to punch down on me.
@TheBreadmonkey There's absolutely nothing you can possibly say that can't be taken offence to by someone who's trying hard enough.
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