#Tag
Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too
The post Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too appeared first on The Onion.
#theonion
https://theonion.com/neighbors-always-knew-teen-gunman-was-evil-and-did-nothing-because-they-are-evil-too/
Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too
The post Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too appeared first on The Onion.
#theonion
https://theonion.com/neighbors-always-knew-teen-gunman-was-evil-and-did-nothing-because-they-are-evil-too/
Diplomatic Talks Break Down Between Trump, Motion-Activated Ghost Decoration
WASHINGTON—In what they described as a disappointing turn in the ongoing negotiations, White House officials confirmed Wednesday that diplomatic talks had broken down between President Donald Trump and a motion-activated ghost decoration. “The president has done everything he can to find common ground with our h…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/diplomatic-talks-break-down-between-trump-motion-activated-ghost-decoration/
Diplomatic Talks Break Down Between Trump, Motion-Activated Ghost Decoration
WASHINGTON—In what they described as a disappointing turn in the ongoing negotiations, White House officials confirmed Wednesday that diplomatic talks had broken down between President Donald Trump and a motion-activated ghost decoration. “The president has done everything he can to find common ground with our h…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/diplomatic-talks-break-down-between-trump-motion-activated-ghost-decoration/
"We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution."
https://theonion.com/recession-plagued-nation-demands-new-bubble-to-invest-i-1819569940/
"We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution."
https://theonion.com/recession-plagued-nation-demands-new-bubble-to-invest-i-1819569940/
Study Finds Voices Should Sound Normal Through Walkie-Talkies By Now
https://theonion.com/study-finds-voices-should-sound-normal-through-walkie-talkies-by-now/?ref=ActivityPub
ITHACA, NY-Citing numerous advancements in communication technology over the years, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Cornell University found that voices coming through walkie-talkies should sound normal by now. "After countless hours of
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Study Finds Voices Should Sound Normal Through Walkie-Talkies By Now
ITHACA, NY—Citing numerous advancements in communication technology over the years, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Cornell University found that voices coming through walkie-talkies should sound normal by now. “After countless hours of fact-finding and analysis, we’ve concluded that it’s 2025, and the speaker sho…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/study-finds-voices-should-sound-normal-through-walkie-talkies-by-now/
Study Finds Voices Should Sound Normal Through Walkie-Talkies By Now
https://theonion.com/study-finds-voices-should-sound-normal-through-walkie-talkies-by-now/?ref=ActivityPub
ITHACA, NY-Citing numerous advancements in communication technology over the years, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Cornell University found that voices coming through walkie-talkies should sound normal by now. "After countless hours of
#TheOnion #News
#English
VIA #MPAQ Oct. 15, 2025
Visit #TidySearch for more @ http://search.mpaq.org
(002-01209-00000284)
Study Finds Voices Should Sound Normal Through Walkie-Talkies By Now
ITHACA, NY—Citing numerous advancements in communication technology over the years, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Cornell University found that voices coming through walkie-talkies should sound normal by now. “After countless hours of fact-finding and analysis, we’ve concluded that it’s 2025, and the speaker sho…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/study-finds-voices-should-sound-normal-through-walkie-talkies-by-now/
Childhood Best Friend Would Never Make The Cut Now
WATERBURY, VT—Admitting that the bar used to be much, much lower, local 38-year-old Jeremy Griffiths confirmed Tuesday that his childhood best friend Ben Martin would never make the cut now. “If we didn’t have decades of memories together, there’s no way that I would have invited him to any important function in my adult life,” […]
The post Childhood Best Friend…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/childhood-best-friend-would-never-make-the-cut-now/
Childhood Best Friend Would Never Make The Cut Now
WATERBURY, VT—Admitting that the bar used to be much, much lower, local 38-year-old Jeremy Griffiths confirmed Tuesday that his childhood best friend Ben Martin would never make the cut now. “If we didn’t have decades of memories together, there’s no way that I would have invited him to any important function in my adult life,” […]
The post Childhood Best Friend…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/childhood-best-friend-would-never-make-the-cut-now/
Netflix Now Requiring All Subscribers To Recruit 5 New Customers
LOS GATOS, CA—With an update the company hailed as a bold feature that would excite existing users and increase membership, streaming giant Netflix announced Tuesday that all of its subscribers would now be required to recruit five new customers. “In the competitive world of streaming media, this restructuring will ensure Netflix rema…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/netflix-now-requiring-all-subscribers-to-recruit-5-new-customers/
Netflix Now Requiring All Subscribers To Recruit 5 New Customers
LOS GATOS, CA—With an update the company hailed as a bold feature that would excite existing users and increase membership, streaming giant Netflix announced Tuesday that all of its subscribers would now be required to recruit five new customers. “In the competitive world of streaming media, this restructuring will ensure Netflix rema…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/netflix-now-requiring-all-subscribers-to-recruit-5-new-customers/
Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From
LONDON—Claiming that he recognized the member of the royal family, but his memory was hazy, President Donald Trump has spent his entire trip to the U.K. trying to figure out where he knows Prince Andrew from, sources confirmed Thursday. “Who is that guy? His face seems so familiar,” said Trump, p…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/trump-spends-entire-u-k-trip-trying-to-figure-out-where-he-knows-prince-andrew-from/
Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From
LONDON—Claiming that he recognized the member of the royal family, but his memory was hazy, President Donald Trump has spent his entire trip to the U.K. trying to figure out where he knows Prince Andrew from, sources confirmed Thursday. “Who is that guy? His face seems so familiar,” said Trump, p…
#theonion
https://theonion.com/trump-spends-entire-u-k-trip-trying-to-figure-out-where-he-knows-prince-andrew-from/
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