After a long day, and more terror in Minnesota, it has come to this...
Me: Ok buddy. Help me decide on dinner.
Benson: 👅👀👅
Me: Burgers [placing a treat on a bench] or Salad [putting another treat next to it, on the left.] Go!
Benson: 🍔
Me: Yay!! You know the assignment, my big boi!
I think I have found my Magic 8 Ball for the year.
What Benson thought of his new bed placement today.
Hypothesis: Benson is too much of a schmoopie to drag someone by their shoe across a balcony.
Test: Today's return from our walk without a muzzle.
Conclusion: Benson can be possessed by a chaos goblin and can, indeed, drag a 200 lb+ lady across a balcony by her shoe.
Fuckking asshole Schmoopie.
I can only imagine what that looked like to the neighbors.
Benson's big rabbit feets.
Benson's big rabbit feets.
I love how dog brains work.
Especially Benson's dog brain.
Me: You must SIT on this mat OUTSIDE the kitchen during meal prep until I say GO.
Benson: I will sit on this little mat until Go.
Also Benson: I will slowly scoot off this mat -- but still sitting!-- until I'm IN the kitchen.
Benson: I am *still sitting* while I scootch closer to Mommy.
Benson: I shall recline directly behind Mommy.
Benson: OK, too far! I will sit on this *other* little mat but IN the kitchen.
Benson: I will lay partially on the mat so my front half is mere steps from my bowl. Technically, this is correct.
I love how dog brains work.
Especially Benson's dog brain.
Me: You must SIT on this mat OUTSIDE the kitchen during meal prep until I say GO.
Benson: I will sit on this little mat until Go.
Also Benson: I will slowly scoot off this mat -- but still sitting!-- until I'm IN the kitchen.
Benson: I am *still sitting* while I scootch closer to Mommy.
Benson: I shall recline directly behind Mommy.
Benson: OK, too far! I will sit on this *other* little mat but IN the kitchen.
Benson: I will lay partially on the mat so my front half is mere steps from my bowl. Technically, this is correct.
Timeline cleanser:
Benson begging for a walk by making it impossible to sit at my desk.
WTF, dog! You're so large.
My vet is being a poop.
I hate seeing my schmoopie so sad and low energy. (He's clearly picking up on my vibe and being all, 'I'm sick mommy.')
So fine.
I'll flush Benson's eye myself.
Yay!!
Picked up Benson and we had a leisurely commute home.
We stopped for a latte and a bacon sammie at Nunu's Cafe.
We got water in the Mandela Parkway.
We rode the BART in perfection.
We loped down the main street home and had water at all the open shops.
We stopped by some motorcycle dudes and let them pet us.
We politely asked for treats and got them.
And now we're enjoying quiet time in the afternoon. (aka taking a nap)
So glad to have him home.
