“We should go there sometimes!”
Where?
“Canada! So we can get some maple syrup to make some stuff.” #ThingsMyKidSays #parenthood

“What do you mean, bruh is short for brother? I thought it meant poop!” #thingsMyKidSays

“If you’re not nice to me, I’ll call you Bigfoot”#ThingsMyKidSays

The kid is learning all my mannerisms, including how I speak. Today he sneaked in “when I was a little kid…” during story time. I’m over here like “bruh, you’re 6!!” #ThingsMyKidSays

“Gravity. I don’t like it.”
Why?
“Because it pulls us down. I wanted to fly” #thingsMyKidSays

Plot twist: he named his blankie ‘Nitrogen’ #thingsMyKidSays

“Oh no, poor Nitrogen!” #thingsMyKidSays

“I’m gonna sleep in your bed until I die” 🥹🥺😵 #thingsMyKidSays

Explaining banking to the kid:
Me: it’s just like your piggy bank but in bigger scale and for lot of people
Kid: so they have piggy banks of all the colors of the rainbow?
Me: … … … no
#thingsMyKidSays

“Goodnight, kid! Have a good sleep”
“Goodnight, mama! Have a good time looking at your phone”
#thingsMyKidSays