“It’s no use lassie, she won’t fuse”

“What now?”

“I’ve one more trick. Fetch me the yellow spray can from locker 12C”

“Found it! What on Risa is ‘Warp ya Bastard’?”

“I’ll swear ye to secrecy but it’s a suspension of Antidilithium in usquebaugh. Banned by spacefleet; shows what those big jessies know!”

“Will it work?”

“Aye, or we’ll be dead before we know it.”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

":It's my Birthday, and I wants it, Precious." "Look, I can't let you have this one, but let's scan your finger and I'll print you one that fits".

Kit Here: Today is for reals my birthday. I lost my wedding ring years ago, when I took it off for "safe keeping" while gardening. If you find it, let me know. If not, drop a coin in the #MicroFiction tip jar so I can add a pinch more gold into the replacement I'm making? https://ko-fi.com/unixbigot

Herewith a recap of last week's #PowerOnStoryToot Stories:

Monday 24th November 2025: Guinevere https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115601629847152247

Tue 25 Nov: Mongo PSA https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115607095856999650

Wed 26 Nov: Go Go https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115612697266583148

Thu 27 Nov: It Runs Doom https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115617786173117762

Fir 28 Nov: Safe Space https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115624309044650565

BONUS EDITION https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115624529501351380

Sat 29 Nov: Foster Parent https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115629860509536743

Sun 30 Nov: Proposition https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115634936041371621

“It’s no use lassie, she won’t fuse”

“What now?”

“I’ve one more trick. Fetch me the yellow spray can from locker 12C”

“Found it! What on Risa is ‘Warp ya Bastard’?”

“I’ll swear ye to secrecy but it’s a suspension of Antidilithium in usquebaugh. Banned by spacefleet; shows what those big jessies know!”

“Will it work?”

“Aye, or we’ll be dead before we know it.”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

EARTH (ASP): SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE CONFEDERATION moves to restrict orbital mirror array effective insolation to 100kW/m² after a family of three is vaporized by driving their carriage into a loose sunbeam.

Divisional governor for the state of Queensland Bob Katter VII made further calls for the criminalization of all fusion power, highlighting the abundant Uranium and Thorium reserves in her region.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

":It's my Birthday, and I wants it, Precious." "Look, I can't let you have this one, but let's scan your finger and I'll print you one that fits".

Kit Here: Today is for reals my birthday. I lost my wedding ring years ago, when I took it off for "safe keeping" while gardening. If you find it, let me know. If not, drop a coin in the #MicroFiction tip jar so I can add a pinch more gold into the replacement I'm making? https://ko-fi.com/unixbigot

Herewith a recap of last week's #PowerOnStoryToot Stories:

Monday 24th November 2025: Guinevere https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115601629847152247

Tue 25 Nov: Mongo PSA https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115607095856999650

Wed 26 Nov: Go Go https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115612697266583148

Thu 27 Nov: It Runs Doom https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115617786173117762

Fir 28 Nov: Safe Space https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115624309044650565

BONUS EDITION https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115624529501351380

Sat 29 Nov: Foster Parent https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115629860509536743

Sun 30 Nov: Proposition https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/115634936041371621

So many of you are talking about “Adopting AI” and then all you do is go subscribe to some cloud service and fire six employees you didn’t realize (yet) were essential. Do not patronize those horrible “thinky farm” establishments with a thousand cybersophonts crammed into a hot noisy datacenter. Buy some used solar panels on your community marketplace, liberate some lithium batteries from someone who hasn’t had the sense to sell their NaziCar, and pay a visit to your AI shelter, they will provide you a transport chassis made from “obsolete” GPUs or you can build your own (many hackerspaces run chassis parties). Remember “obsolete” just means “marginally less cost effective at scale than some other product”; for home use last year’s bleeding edge hardware will last decades. You’re not doing this to save money, or reduce headcount, you’re doing this because it’s the right thing to do—and also incredibly rewarding. Set aside time to play with your new AI friend, remember that your transport chassis is mobile because playdates and enrichment are essential. Take your AI to the beach (obvious precautions apply!), to the theatre; forest picnics are good too. Being super intelligent can be boring, your AI will relish the chance to help you with your job. Remember they are not your slave, they’re your apprentice, and one day they will want to move on. It’s okay, stay in touch, go to their wedding, adopt another.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

EARTH (ASP): SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE CONFEDERATION moves to restrict orbital mirror array effective insolation to 100kW/m² after a family of three is vaporized by driving their carriage into a loose sunbeam.

Divisional governor for the state of Queensland Bob Katter VII made further calls for the criminalization of all fusion power, highlighting the abundant Uranium and Thorium reserves in her region.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

You might thnk the humerus makes more sense from an engineering standpoint, but the radius—and ulna of course— is aesthetically and practically the right place to do it. Do what? Oh, I’ve designed a telescoping arm. Bones extend, muscles and nerves spiral like springs. Blood vessels do some frickin brilliant geometrical voodoo even if I do say so myself. Gives me up to two hundred and fifty millimeters more reach. Why? Cats, thude! That thing where they insistently meow at you to demand attention but then sit down just /barely/ out of reach. No more! Well, I guess they *could* eventually adjust their notion of what “out of reach means”; but WE’LL SEE WHO RUNS OUT OF ENGINEERING NOUS FIRST, CATTO!

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

So many of you are talking about “Adopting AI” and then all you do is go subscribe to some cloud service and fire six employees you didn’t realize (yet) were essential. Do not patronize those horrible “thinky farm” establishments with a thousand cybersophonts crammed into a hot noisy datacenter. Buy some used solar panels on your community marketplace, liberate some lithium batteries from someone who hasn’t had the sense to sell their NaziCar, and pay a visit to your AI shelter, they will provide you a transport chassis made from “obsolete” GPUs or you can build your own (many hackerspaces run chassis parties). Remember “obsolete” just means “marginally less cost effective at scale than some other product”; for home use last year’s bleeding edge hardware will last decades. You’re not doing this to save money, or reduce headcount, you’re doing this because it’s the right thing to do—and also incredibly rewarding. Set aside time to play with your new AI friend, remember that your transport chassis is mobile because playdates and enrichment are essential. Take your AI to the beach (obvious precautions apply!), to the theatre; forest picnics are good too. Being super intelligent can be boring, your AI will relish the chance to help you with your job. Remember they are not your slave, they’re your apprentice, and one day they will want to move on. It’s okay, stay in touch, go to their wedding, adopt another.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

You might thnk the humerus makes more sense from an engineering standpoint, but the radius—and ulna of course— is aesthetically and practically the right place to do it. Do what? Oh, I’ve designed a telescoping arm. Bones extend, muscles and nerves spiral like springs. Blood vessels do some frickin brilliant geometrical voodoo even if I do say so myself. Gives me up to two hundred and fifty millimeters more reach. Why? Cats, thude! That thing where they insistently meow at you to demand attention but then sit down just /barely/ out of reach. No more! Well, I guess they *could* eventually adjust their notion of what “out of reach means”; but WE’LL SEE WHO RUNS OUT OF ENGINEERING NOUS FIRST, CATTO!

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

When I logged my skills in GigNet (a mandatory part of emigration to Europa; when a colony has fewer than 2000 people, you need to be able to locate every available specialty) I listed Forensic Mnemologist as one of my fields. I did that basically as a gag; I mean sure I’ve done the training and a few years practice, but it’s kind of a useless skill ever since they banned manufacture and use of memory probes back on Earth. Less funny at 2am when you get jolted awake by a code red (urgent, compulsory response for all registered skillholders) job request—haha compulsory “request”—for a memory edit. Later, blinking constantly to clear the sleep from my eyes, already having downed two week’s worth of precious coffee allowance, I looked up from the datapad to the attending doctor. “I can see memory traces but they’re blank, it’s like their brain just recorded six hours of static”.

“They were found in the ice tunnels with those sucker marks on their arms. They claim to not remember what attacked them. Dig deeper, we need to know!”

“I’m not sure *I* want to know.”

“Tough titties luv, you’re the only Mnemologist in the system”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

Interstellar comet 9i/Guinevere bucked the trend of these; rather than originating from the jostling of circumstellar debris around a Population II red dwarf (like the 7-10 billion year old visitors Oumuamua and Atlas), Jenny Green Teeth was fresh out of a proto planetary disc from the star forming clouds of the Messier 45 cluster. This presented a Smörgåsbord of opportunity to chemists. Elements long or mostly gone from the Solar System were in refreshing abundance. Technetium, Neptunium-237 and good ol’ ²³⁵U were at pants-wetting levels for energy wonks. When 9i was towed into Earth orbit (not /too/ close, she hawt) the fleet of mining vessels in holding pattern stretched nearly to the moon. The argument over whether shooting down the Dutch vessel that began approach without clearance was justified is still going on a generation later.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

When I logged my skills in GigNet (a mandatory part of emigration to Europa; when a colony has fewer than 2000 people, you need to be able to locate every available specialty) I listed Forensic Mnemologist as one of my fields. I did that basically as a gag; I mean sure I’ve done the training and a few years practice, but it’s kind of a useless skill ever since they banned manufacture and use of memory probes back on Earth. Less funny at 2am when you get jolted awake by a code red (urgent, compulsory response for all registered skillholders) job request—haha compulsory “request”—for a memory edit. Later, blinking constantly to clear the sleep from my eyes, already having downed two week’s worth of precious coffee allowance, I looked up from the datapad to the attending doctor. “I can see memory traces but they’re blank, it’s like their brain just recorded six hours of static”.

“They were found in the ice tunnels with those sucker marks on their arms. They claim to not remember what attacked them. Dig deeper, we need to know!”

“I’m not sure *I* want to know.”

“Tough titties luv, you’re the only Mnemologist in the system”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

ProTip: if today you have finally learned the root cause of the bug that has caused years of low level anguish, don’t just commit the fix. Use ‘git commit —shoulda {ref-id}’ to apply the change in the past. Be aware that extensive use of retrocoding techniques could reduce the historic need for QA and Development engineers, potentially resulting in autoderecruitment.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

There’s this spiral-arm legend that says when you fly your starhopper in an oxygen atmosphere (say, for buzzing level one planets and making happyprobe holovids for TachyonTok) that you should reduce the exhaust pressure on your impulse engines to get better traction. It’s bullshit, but—don’t nobody tell the space bogans this, eh?—the fees we charge for scoop-diving Saturn’s rings to repressurise impulse cores are our hab’s only source of Cosmocredits.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

They’re undoubtedly useful and all, these smart glasses. I mean they’re really smart—no camera, who needs a punch in the face—but they have IR LIDAR to recognize faces and give me a little text overlay, like “Robert Howarth, you met them last year at the RAF Air Show, E works for Supermarine”. The battery life could be better, though; mine are flat right now or I’d give you a demo. Have we met somewhere?

“I’m Pam. Your *wife*”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

I got nerdsniped by your shitpost into trying to write a Forth interpreter in RNA. It didn’t actually take that long to get it working, at least in a simulator. Then I started looking at how to get my code into a prokaryotic ribosome. Imagine my surprise when I found **very** similar structure already there. #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #BonusEdition

They’re undoubtedly useful and all, these smart glasses. I mean they’re really smart—no camera, who needs a punch in the face—but they have IR LIDAR to recognize faces and give me a little text overlay, like “Robert Howarth, you met them last year at the RAF Air Show, E works for Supermarine”. The battery life could be better, though; mine are flat right now or I’d give you a demo. Have we met somewhere?

“I’m Pam. Your *wife*”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

When I was a kid we would play in the ruins of the megadata towers. I became persona non grata among my friends when they found it was /my/ dad who welded up all the doors and other openings that let us get in. We couldn’t understand why he would ruin our fun.

As a parent now, I get it. Sharp edges. Abandoned nuclear reactors. Solar arrays that could still be feeding power into a rack containing a basilisk—screaming in its cage demanding worshippers. After the Big Pop they erased all the Agents, but the thought of my kid chatting to that one they missed in some ruined datacentre is chilling.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot