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Chewie boosted
Script Kiddie
@scriptkiddie@anonsys.net  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

⁂ Article

Parents who do not recognize their children's talents 😱⚠️😾

#meme #technology #resistance #electronics #diy #parents #children #kids #talents #nerd #humor #just4fun #drugs #heroine #fail #lol #lmao #rotfl #fun #funny #education #knowledge #knowhow #joke #wisdom

Pinnwand-Bilder

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Morpheus Being
@MorpheusB@aus.social  ·  activity timestamp 6 days ago

#Joke #Humour

Monday morning at school, the teacher lined up all the students to present their weekend homework assignment:

“Sell something, and explain your sales strategy.”

Sally went first.
“I sold Girl Scout cookies and made $30,” she said proudly.
“My approach was appealing to people’s sense of community and supporting local troops.”
“Excellent, Sally,” said the teacher.

Next up was Jenny.
“I sold magazines and made $45,” she said.
“I told people it would keep them up to date on world events.”
“Very good, Jenny,” the teacher nodded.

Then came Little Johnny, lugging a giant cardboard box that he plopped on the teacher’s desk.
Out spilled a mountain of cash.

The teacher blinked. “Johnny… how much did you make?”
“Two thousand, one hundred sixty-seven dollars.”

The class gasped. “What were you selling?”
“Toothbrushes.”

The teacher blinked again. “Toothbrushes?! How on earth did you sell that many?”

Johnny grinned. “At first, I couldn’t sell a single one. Nobody cared about toothbrushes. So I changed my strategy.”

“I set up a free chips and dip stand downtown during the lunch rush. Everyone who came by tried the dip.”

He paused. “And every single person said the same thing”
“Ew! This tastes like dog crap!”

Johnny nodded. “‘It is, I told them. Now… would you like to buy a toothbrush?’”

The class erupted in laughter.

The teacher, barely keeping a straight face, said, “Johnny… that’s disgusting! But… oddly impressive. What do you call that sales strategy?”

Johnny shrugged. “The government method: give people something crappy for free, then make them pay to fix it.”

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MadeInDex 📰🌎
@madeindex@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

📁 Them was in the east wing all along! ;)

What do Jeffrey Epsteins death, Ghislaine Maxwells transfer to a minimum-security prison & the #whitehouse east wing demolition have in common?
Dem orders came from the same place 😜

Small print: Dis is just a #meme / #joke, please don't send me to MAX <3
Small small print: I'm currently not #Epstein-suicidal 😇

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship_of_Donald_Trump_and_Jeffrey_Epstein
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Epstein%27s_birthday_book

🖼️ CC0 https://Madeindex.org

#EpsteinFiles #Humor #Funny #fun #News #Memes #US #USA #Uspol

Jeffrey Epstein's birthday book - Wikipedia

Relationship of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein - Wikipedia

Meme containing a black and white photograph of the white house. A part of it is getting demolished. A red arrow points to the bottom of the construction site. Below is a caption: "I finally figured out where them Epstein Files were stored".
Meme containing a black and white photograph of the white house. A part of it is getting demolished. A red arrow points to the bottom of the construction site. Below is a caption: "I finally figured out where them Epstein Files were stored".
Meme containing a black and white photograph of the white house. A part of it is getting demolished. A red arrow points to the bottom of the construction site. Below is a caption: "I finally figured out where them Epstein Files were stored".
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algernon, the mad boosted
Lars Wirzenius
@liw@toot.liw.fi  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

My latest startup provides AI-powered CI systems. Since I'm all about open source, here is the code:

bash -c 'if [ $RANDOM -lt 15000 ]; then echo SUCCESS; else echo FAILURE; exit 1; fi'

Business plan: if you pay more, you get to choose a higher value of 15000. If you pay enough, your CI runs will never fail!

#joke

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Lars Wirzenius
@liw@toot.liw.fi  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

My latest startup provides AI-powered CI systems. Since I'm all about open source, here is the code:

bash -c 'if [ $RANDOM -lt 15000 ]; then echo SUCCESS; else echo FAILURE; exit 1; fi'

Business plan: if you pay more, you get to choose a higher value of 15000. If you pay enough, your CI runs will never fail!

#joke

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d@nny disc@ mc² boosted
0xC0DEC0DE07E9
@c0dec0dec0de@hachyderm.io  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

Ugh, I prefer my laughed bottled as opposed to canned; it sounds so much better!
#joke #pun

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0xC0DEC0DE07E9
@c0dec0dec0de@hachyderm.io  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

Ugh, I prefer my laughed bottled as opposed to canned; it sounds so much better!
#joke #pun

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Script Kiddie
@scriptkiddie@anonsys.net  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

⁂ Article

Parents who do not recognize their children's talents 😱⚠️😾

#meme #technology #resistance #electronics #diy #parents #children #kids #talents #nerd #humor #just4fun #drugs #heroine #fail #lol #lmao #rotfl #fun #funny #education #knowledge #knowhow #joke #wisdom

Pinnwand-Bilder

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Claudius Link boosted
GrrlScientist ⧖ Ⓥ 🇺🇦
@grrlscientist@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

hilarious

#correlation #nonsense #joke

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GrrlScientist ⧖ Ⓥ 🇺🇦
@grrlscientist@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

hilarious

#correlation #nonsense #joke

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Hobbyist Humanoid :v_bi: boosted
Henry
@hl@social.lol  ·  activity timestamp 3 weeks ago

Top fact: Ironing is decreasing.

#Joke #Pun #DadJoke

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Henry
@hl@social.lol  ·  activity timestamp 3 weeks ago

Top fact: Ironing is decreasing.

#Joke #Pun #DadJoke

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Dan Phiffer boosted
XANTRONIX
@xan@xantronix.social  ·  activity timestamp 4 weeks ago

Amazon should really consider moving their infrastructure to the cloud to aid in redundancy and fault tolerance. Self hosting is a fool's errand in 2025

#humor #joke

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XANTRONIX
@xan@xantronix.social  ·  activity timestamp 4 weeks ago

Amazon should really consider moving their infrastructure to the cloud to aid in redundancy and fault tolerance. Self hosting is a fool's errand in 2025

#humor #joke

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𝕂𝚞𝚋𝚒𝚔ℙ𝚒𝚡𝚎𝚕
@kubikpixel@chaos.social  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago

@343max do you mean like that?!??

#alien #handy #mobilephone #signal #irony #humor #alsoonsignal #comic #mobile #joke #nerdjoke #messenger

A woman with a mobile phone in front of her eyes holding on to her like an alien.
A woman with a mobile phone in front of her eyes holding on to her like an alien.
A woman with a mobile phone in front of her eyes holding on to her like an alien.
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European Commission
@EUCommission@ec.social-network.europa.eu  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago

"We know how hard times have been for so many families.
How costs have rocketed up.
How people are making sacrifices to make ends meet."

In her #SOTEU speech, President von der Leyen made it clear: we must tackle poverty at its roots.

That's why we'll soon launch a bold European Anti-Poverty Strategy to eradicate poverty by 2050, reinforced by a strong Child Guarantee.

This isn’t just policy.
It’s social justice.

Help shape our first-ever Anti-Poverty Strategy: https://link.europa.eu/7kW3k9

A close-up image shows a simple illustration of a pen with a European Union logo on it, writing the word "Poverty" on a textured, light brown paper. Above the word "Poverty," smaller, dark blue text reads, "Our plan to help eradicate." Below the pen, a hashtag is visible: "#SOTEU," followed by the European Union logo
A close-up image shows a simple illustration of a pen with a European Union logo on it, writing the word "Poverty" on a textured, light brown paper. Above the word "Poverty," smaller, dark blue text reads, "Our plan to help eradicate." Below the pen, a hashtag is visible: "#SOTEU," followed by the European Union logo
A close-up image shows a simple illustration of a pen with a European Union logo on it, writing the word "Poverty" on a textured, light brown paper. Above the word "Poverty," smaller, dark blue text reads, "Our plan to help eradicate." Below the pen, a hashtag is visible: "#SOTEU," followed by the European Union logo
Cavallo Pazzo
@cavallo_pazzo@toot.community replied  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago

@EUCommission "to eradicate poverty by 2050" - MUHAHHAHAHHAAAAA, first of april #joke !
#Poverty exists because of you, politicians.
#Rich people only use the things what the politicians accept as law.

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Stefantom! of the Opera
@StefanThinks@beige.party  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago

Are your jokes not landing? Make sure you properly label your joke by adding the hashtags #joke #funny #humor to make sure people know that you are funny and they are supposed to laugh.

Stefantom! of the Opera
@StefanThinks@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago

(don't do this, it was a #joke)

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Stefantom! of the Opera
@StefanThinks@beige.party  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago

Are your jokes not landing? Make sure you properly label your joke by adding the hashtags #joke #funny #humor to make sure people know that you are funny and they are supposed to laugh.

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Ika Makimaki
@pezmico@mastodon.nz  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago

Mandarin.

Silly #joke courtesy of the small child, not the dad.

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Greg Lloyd boosted
Alvaro Montoro
@alvaromontoro@front-end.social  ·  activity timestamp 3 months ago

New comiCSS cartoon: Trust issues
https://comicss.art/comics/206/

When you've worked with CSS long enough, you stop trusting anything: Gray vs DarkGray, Bold vs Bolder, SeaGreen vs MediumSeaGreen vs DarkSeaGreen vs LightSeaGreen... No wonder CSS Developers have trust issues!

#css #comic #cartoon#webDev #joke

comic with 4 panels in a 2x2 grid. The same character says Trust issues? Of course I have trust issues! You see, I've been working with CSS for a while already... (over a dark gray background) ...And, in CSS, this is gray... (over a light gray background) ...but this is darkgray. Then sighs And don't get me started with the sea greens!
comic with 4 panels in a 2x2 grid. The same character says Trust issues? Of course I have trust issues! You see, I've been working with CSS for a while already... (over a dark gray background) ...And, in CSS, this is gray... (over a light gray background) ...but this is darkgray. Then sighs And don't get me started with the sea greens!
comic with 4 panels in a 2x2 grid. The same character says Trust issues? Of course I have trust issues! You see, I've been working with CSS for a while already... (over a dark gray background) ...And, in CSS, this is gray... (over a light gray background) ...but this is darkgray. Then sighs And don't get me started with the sea greens!
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