There's a time to strive and perform, and a time to breathe and exist.

You don't have to self-host.
You don't have to run Linux (although I highly recommend not running Windows, and to a slightly lesser degree, not running MacOS).
You don't have to code.
You don't have to know all the things your friends know and consider to be "basic."

You can just be the very best you you can be.
Start with one little thing at a time. Focus on just one new good habit per week, or per month.

Life is short, but life is also really long. There's no reason to spend it angry or frustrated with yourself.

There's a time to strive and perform, and a time to breathe and exist.

You don't have to self-host.
You don't have to run Linux (although I highly recommend not running Windows, and to a slightly lesser degree, not running MacOS).
You don't have to code.
You don't have to know all the things your friends know and consider to be "basic."

You can just be the very best you you can be.
Start with one little thing at a time. Focus on just one new good habit per week, or per month.

Life is short, but life is also really long. There's no reason to spend it angry or frustrated with yourself.

- if they're dating men
- if they're dating women
- if they're dating nonbinary folx
- if they're not dating anyone
- if they're dating a loaf of garlic bread

Their bisexuality is an intrinsic part of them; it is *not* defined by their partner(s) or lack thereof.

We're not "too gay" or "too straight" or "confused" or "playing the field" or "in a phase".

#LGBTQ

Just a reminder to all of my non-white friends: you can pretty much get white people to do anything that you want by telling them it’s a wedding custom in your country. #psa

- if they're dating men
- if they're dating women
- if they're dating nonbinary folx
- if they're not dating anyone
- if they're dating a loaf of garlic bread

Their bisexuality is an intrinsic part of them; it is *not* defined by their partner(s) or lack thereof.

We're not "too gay" or "too straight" or "confused" or "playing the field" or "in a phase".

#LGBTQ

Just a reminder to all of my non-white friends: you can pretty much get white people to do anything that you want by telling them it’s a wedding custom in your country. #psa

#Tip: When someone asks "what do you do?", tell them about your weird bug collection, or your last hike, or that cool series you pirated recently.

#Tip: When someone asks "what do you do?", tell them about your weird bug collection, or your last hike, or that cool series you pirated recently.

I hope this is common knowledge, but just in case not: Authorized Fetch does not protect media attachments. Only post contents and (some) user profiles are authenticated.

Likewise, uploaded media is always public. Even if sent as a DM, anyone with the link can access the files without authentication. That includes blocked users / instances, so be careful what you upload!

#PSA #FediTips #Fedi #Fediverse

PSA for Misskey/fork admins: Misskey relies on Redis for long-term data storage. It is not just a caching solution, and wiping redis will result in permanent data loss.

This is contrary to most guides and documentation regarding redis, because Misskey is actually using it wrong. But unfortunately, lots of data is only stored in Redis with no way to re-create it from Postgres:

• All notifications
• Most timelines, if Fanout Timelines is enabled
• Charts and graphs
• Federation jobs, including delayed / scheduled jobs
• Antennas (they "reset" and lose all posts)
• User lists (they "reset" and lose all posts)
• Trending hashtags / notes
• Reversi games
• WebAuthn
• User profiles (specifically the list of posts)

If you ever lose or rollback your Redis cluster, then all of the above will be impacted. So please take regular backups!

#FediAdmin #Misskey #MisskeyAdmins #Sharkey #SharkeyAdmins #PSA

PSA for Misskey/fork admins: Misskey relies on Redis for long-term data storage. It is not just a caching solution, and wiping redis will result in permanent data loss.

This is contrary to most guides and documentation regarding redis, because Misskey is actually using it wrong. But unfortunately, lots of data is only stored in Redis with no way to re-create it from Postgres:

• All notifications
• Most timelines, if Fanout Timelines is enabled
• Charts and graphs
• Federation jobs, including delayed / scheduled jobs
• Antennas (they "reset" and lose all posts)
• User lists (they "reset" and lose all posts)
• Trending hashtags / notes
• Reversi games
• WebAuthn
• User profiles (specifically the list of posts)

If you ever lose or rollback your Redis cluster, then all of the above will be impacted. So please take regular backups!

#FediAdmin #Misskey #MisskeyAdmins #Sharkey #SharkeyAdmins #PSA

PSA: Do you have a local backup of all your data? If not....you should. #psa #backup

PSA: Do you have a local backup of all your data? If not....you should. #psa #backup

Hey, it's time to have the consent chat with folx again! Yay!

So, I know I can sometimes come across as flirty, maybe even a little sexual...and I am. BUT that doesn't mean that everyone gets an evergreen ticket to ride.

Consent is an ongoing process—continuing education—not a one-and-done checkbox.

Boundaries change, and so do circumstances. Just because we had hot cybersex a week ago doesn't mean I'm down for pet names or roleplay today. The number of unsolicited dick pics I've seen in Signal this week is too damn high! (the solicited number was just about right)

There's a distinction between different mediums and contexts. Like, my nudes are there for your enjoyment. I know y'all touch yourselves to 'em, and that's pretty hot. But it's not an open invitation to hit me up on Signal like we're dating (unless we actually are).

I value my wholesome-ish designation, and I try hard to be as—if not more—well-known for my community-building, outreach, and research as I am for my body.

So, ask. Ask early and often. And if I say no, it's not personal...it's preference. I prefer friends, open chats, and enthusiastic informed consent.

TL;DR; Fedi is for friends, community, and fun—all of which I prefer to do in public interactions. Flirting is encouraged, but either keep it light (or be really clever with the punnuendos).

In contrast, I use Signal for messages that are too personal or private for Fedi. Sometimes things get intimate, but this isn't OnlyFans chat.

I've noticed that since starting @AltAfterDark, I've been getting a lot more chat requests on Signal, and I've already had to remind several of those folx that escalating requires new consent for each session and that I'm not an on-demand fantasy.

#PSA#Consent#Boundaries

Hey, it's time to have the consent chat with folx again! Yay!

So, I know I can sometimes come across as flirty, maybe even a little sexual...and I am. BUT that doesn't mean that everyone gets an evergreen ticket to ride.

Consent is an ongoing process—continuing education—not a one-and-done checkbox.

Boundaries change, and so do circumstances. Just because we had hot cybersex a week ago doesn't mean I'm down for pet names or roleplay today. The number of unsolicited dick pics I've seen in Signal this week is too damn high! (the solicited number was just about right)

There's a distinction between different mediums and contexts. Like, my nudes are there for your enjoyment. I know y'all touch yourselves to 'em, and that's pretty hot. But it's not an open invitation to hit me up on Signal like we're dating (unless we actually are).

I value my wholesome-ish designation, and I try hard to be as—if not more—well-known for my community-building, outreach, and research as I am for my body.

So, ask. Ask early and often. And if I say no, it's not personal...it's preference. I prefer friends, open chats, and enthusiastic informed consent.

TL;DR; Fedi is for friends, community, and fun—all of which I prefer to do in public interactions. Flirting is encouraged, but either keep it light (or be really clever with the punnuendos).

In contrast, I use Signal for messages that are too personal or private for Fedi. Sometimes things get intimate, but this isn't OnlyFans chat.

I've noticed that since starting @AltAfterDark, I've been getting a lot more chat requests on Signal, and I've already had to remind several of those folx that escalating requires new consent for each session and that I'm not an on-demand fantasy.

#PSA#Consent#Boundaries