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Yayaver
@yayaver@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

#Meme #Funny #Comedy #Memes #Humor #JFL #Jokes #Dune #Scifi

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Guill.Jones, Honorary Canadian
@Guillotine_Jones@beige.party  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

My first joke in this thread went over like a Led Zeppelin, so let's try Take Two:
@TheBreadmonkey, @LoganFive, and @adhdeanasl walk in to a bar owned by @Alice .
She tells them," I just watched "It's a Wonderful Life," last night and I don't need any characters in my bar, and she throws them out.
Now finish the joke.
(PS: My mom went to school with the actor who played Nick the bartender in the film.)
#MastodonGames #FediverseFun #Jokes #Humor #Humour #FediverseFunFarm #FinishTheJoke

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Guill.Jones, Honorary Canadian
@Guillotine_Jones@beige.party  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

Fediverse Fabulous Fun Farm!
Hey there, fans of fun, it's time for the new sensation that's sweeping teh internets.
It goes a little like this, and I think you're going to like it:
Player A sets up a joke.
Everybody else is Player B just by completinging the joke in the thread.
Everybody ready?
Here's your first joke premise:
John Mastodon, Nicole the Fediverse Chick, and a Demon Core walk in to a bar...
Go!
#Jokes #Humor #Humour #FediverseGames #MastodonGames #FediverseFunFarm #JokeCompetition #MastodonContest #Winning

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jaz :twt: :wales_flag: boosted
LaffGaff
@LaffGaff@mastodon.world  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

I just heard that a man collapsed on the ferris wheel at the fair.

Paramedics on site say he is slowly coming around.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

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LaffGaff
@LaffGaff@mastodon.world  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago

I just heard that a man collapsed on the ferris wheel at the fair.

Paramedics on site say he is slowly coming around.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

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Joseph Nuthalapati :fbx: and 1 other boosted
Sunflower Björnskalle 🌻
@apodoxus@mastodon.online  ·  activity timestamp 3 weeks ago

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.

For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.

#humor #jokes

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Sunflower Björnskalle 🌻
@apodoxus@mastodon.online  ·  activity timestamp 3 weeks ago

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.

For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.

#humor #jokes

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Tim Chambers boosted
Audubon Ballroon (he/him)
@audubonballroon@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 4 weeks ago

#movie #thor #jokes

When you think you've completely failed as a teacher, and one student suddenly shouts out "Oh, I get it now!" Thor: I'm still worthy!
When you think you've completely failed as a teacher, and one student suddenly shouts out "Oh, I get it now!" Thor: I'm still worthy!
When you think you've completely failed as a teacher, and one student suddenly shouts out "Oh, I get it now!" Thor: I'm still worthy!
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Audubon Ballroon (he/him)
@audubonballroon@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 4 weeks ago

#movie #thor #jokes

When you think you've completely failed as a teacher, and one student suddenly shouts out "Oh, I get it now!" Thor: I'm still worthy!
When you think you've completely failed as a teacher, and one student suddenly shouts out "Oh, I get it now!" Thor: I'm still worthy!
When you think you've completely failed as a teacher, and one student suddenly shouts out "Oh, I get it now!" Thor: I'm still worthy!
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Charlie Stross and 2 others boosted
Spytfyre
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago
#humour #jokes #meme#MontyPython #satire #politics#UkPol #immigration #asylum
John Cleese as the French knight taunting the English in the holy grail movie from a castle rampart
Saying
Your mother paints roundabouts
And your father shouts at hotels
John Cleese as the French knight taunting the English in the holy grail movie from a castle rampart Saying Your mother paints roundabouts And your father shouts at hotels
John Cleese as the French knight taunting the English in the holy grail movie from a castle rampart Saying Your mother paints roundabouts And your father shouts at hotels
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jaz :twt: :wales_flag: boosted
LaffGaff
@LaffGaff@mastodon.world  ·  activity timestamp last month

I’ve crossed a lot of things off my to-do list today.

I haven’t done any of them, l just don’t want them on my list anymore.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

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LaffGaff
@LaffGaff@mastodon.world  ·  activity timestamp last month

I’ve crossed a lot of things off my to-do list today.

I haven’t done any of them, l just don’t want them on my list anymore.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

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Alex, the Hearth Fire boosted
Morpheus Being
@MorpheusB@aus.social  ·  activity timestamp last month

#Jokes #Humour #Humor

A lost dog wanders into the jungle. A lion spots him from a distance and thinks, “Huh… never seen one of these before. Looks edible.

The lion starts charging. The dog freaks out until he notices some bones nearby. Thinking fast, he blurts out:
“Mmm… that was some tasty lion meat!”

The lion slams the brakes: “Wait… this little dude eats lions?! Nope, I’m out.”

But high up in a tree, a monkey saw the whole thing. He scampers over to the lion and spills the truth, hoping to score points. The lion growls: “Hop on my back. We’ll get him together.”

They storm back toward the dog. The dog sees them coming, panics harder… then yells:
“Where the hell is that monkey? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!

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Morpheus Being
@MorpheusB@aus.social  ·  activity timestamp last month

#Jokes #Humour #Humor

A lost dog wanders into the jungle. A lion spots him from a distance and thinks, “Huh… never seen one of these before. Looks edible.

The lion starts charging. The dog freaks out until he notices some bones nearby. Thinking fast, he blurts out:
“Mmm… that was some tasty lion meat!”

The lion slams the brakes: “Wait… this little dude eats lions?! Nope, I’m out.”

But high up in a tree, a monkey saw the whole thing. He scampers over to the lion and spills the truth, hoping to score points. The lion growls: “Hop on my back. We’ll get him together.”

They storm back toward the dog. The dog sees them coming, panics harder… then yells:
“Where the hell is that monkey? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!

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Jess Mahler boosted
Diotima
@tiefling@bardicperspiration.club  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago

Things that hit different when you're poly:

Vul: "Dio did you borrow my favorite top?"

#polysexual #openrelationship #nsfw #jokes

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Diotima
@tiefling@bardicperspiration.club  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago

Things that hit different when you're poly:

Vul: "Dio did you borrow my favorite top?"

#polysexual #openrelationship #nsfw #jokes

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Spytfyre
@spytfyre@mastodon.scot  ·  activity timestamp 2 months ago
#humour #jokes #meme#MontyPython #satire #politics#UkPol #immigration #asylum
John Cleese as the French knight taunting the English in the holy grail movie from a castle rampart
Saying
Your mother paints roundabouts
And your father shouts at hotels
John Cleese as the French knight taunting the English in the holy grail movie from a castle rampart Saying Your mother paints roundabouts And your father shouts at hotels
John Cleese as the French knight taunting the English in the holy grail movie from a castle rampart Saying Your mother paints roundabouts And your father shouts at hotels
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