#Tag
Djoerd Hiemstra 🍉 and 1 other boosted
Jen Sorensen
Jen Sorensen
@jensorensen@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago
DEEP STAFFING CUTS AT THE FDA HAVE LED TO A DRAMATIC DROP IN FOREIGN FOOD SAFETY INSPECTIONS. SUITED OFFICIAL IN DISGUSTING SHRIMP PROCESSING PLANT: WE’RE JUST MAKING THINGS MORE EFFICIENT! SOME THINK THIS IS A GREAT IDEA. LISTERIA BEHIND LECTERN REPRESENTING ILL International Listeria League: FINALLY GOVERNMENT IS HELPING THE LITTLE GUY -THE HARD-WORKING FOODBORNE PATHOGEN! OFFICIAL: AMERICANS NEED TO TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND BE SELF-RELIANT -BY PURCHASING THEIR OWN FOOD-TESTING LABS! WOMAN IN KITCHEN TESTING FOOD ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE ONE! IT'S GOOD FOR HUMANITY, ACTUALLY! OFFICIAL: WE'RE EUGENICALLY CREATING A RACE OF SUPERHUMANS WHO CAN EAT TOXINS! IN BACKGROUND: MAN COVERED IN SLOP EATING OUT OF GARBAGE CAN OFFICIAL: IS THAT YOU, BOBBY JR.? ©2025 Jen Sorensen
DEEP STAFFING CUTS AT THE FDA HAVE LED TO A DRAMATIC DROP IN FOREIGN FOOD SAFETY INSPECTIONS. SUITED OFFICIAL IN DISGUSTING SHRIMP PROCESSING PLANT: WE’RE JUST MAKING THINGS MORE EFFICIENT! SOME THINK THIS IS A GREAT IDEA. LISTERIA BEHIND LECTERN REPRESENTING ILL International Listeria League: FINALLY GOVERNMENT IS HELPING THE LITTLE GUY -THE HARD-WORKING FOODBORNE PATHOGEN! OFFICIAL: AMERICANS NEED TO TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND BE SELF-RELIANT -BY PURCHASING THEIR OWN FOOD-TESTING LABS! WOMAN IN KITCHEN TESTING FOOD ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE ONE! IT'S GOOD FOR HUMANITY, ACTUALLY! OFFICIAL: WE'RE EUGENICALLY CREATING A RACE OF SUPERHUMANS WHO CAN EAT TOXINS! IN BACKGROUND: MAN COVERED IN SLOP EATING OUT OF GARBAGE CAN OFFICIAL: IS THAT YOU, BOBBY JR.? ©2025 Jen Sorensen
DEEP STAFFING CUTS AT THE FDA HAVE LED TO A DRAMATIC DROP IN FOREIGN FOOD SAFETY INSPECTIONS. SUITED OFFICIAL IN DISGUSTING SHRIMP PROCESSING PLANT: WE’RE JUST MAKING THINGS MORE EFFICIENT! SOME THINK THIS IS A GREAT IDEA. LISTERIA BEHIND LECTERN REPRESENTING ILL International Listeria League: FINALLY GOVERNMENT IS HELPING THE LITTLE GUY -THE HARD-WORKING FOODBORNE PATHOGEN! OFFICIAL: AMERICANS NEED TO TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY AND BE SELF-RELIANT -BY PURCHASING THEIR OWN FOOD-TESTING LABS! WOMAN IN KITCHEN TESTING FOOD ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE ONE! IT'S GOOD FOR HUMANITY, ACTUALLY! OFFICIAL: WE'RE EUGENICALLY CREATING A RACE OF SUPERHUMANS WHO CAN EAT TOXINS! IN BACKGROUND: MAN COVERED IN SLOP EATING OUT OF GARBAGE CAN OFFICIAL: IS THAT YOU, BOBBY JR.? ©2025 Jen Sorensen
hypebot boosted
Foxes in Love
Foxes in Love
@FoxesInLove@social.neonpaws.digital  ·  activity timestamp 19 hours ago
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are coming home, still squinting from the cold winter air, with snow piled on top of both of them. Narration: Steps of coming in from the snow: Still wearing a snow pile, Green watches as Blue closes his eyes, waiting for his body heat to simply melt the snow off himself, with rivulets of snowmelt running down his body, collecting into a puddle beneath him. Narration: 1: Melt off the snow Green, who still has snow piled on him, watches on as Blue radiates heat, causing the snowmelt on and around him to evaporate. Narration: 2: Steam dry Green, still covered in clumps of snow, chases after Blue, who is doing his best to get away from him. Narration: 3: Run for your life Blue: Don't touch me, you wet goblin! Green: But you're warm!
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are coming home, still squinting from the cold winter air, with snow piled on top of both of them. Narration: Steps of coming in from the snow: Still wearing a snow pile, Green watches as Blue closes his eyes, waiting for his body heat to simply melt the snow off himself, with rivulets of snowmelt running down his body, collecting into a puddle beneath him. Narration: 1: Melt off the snow Green, who still has snow piled on him, watches on as Blue radiates heat, causing the snowmelt on and around him to evaporate. Narration: 2: Steam dry Green, still covered in clumps of snow, chases after Blue, who is doing his best to get away from him. Narration: 3: Run for your life Blue: Don't touch me, you wet goblin! Green: But you're warm!
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are coming home, still squinting from the cold winter air, with snow piled on top of both of them. Narration: Steps of coming in from the snow: Still wearing a snow pile, Green watches as Blue closes his eyes, waiting for his body heat to simply melt the snow off himself, with rivulets of snowmelt running down his body, collecting into a puddle beneath him. Narration: 1: Melt off the snow Green, who still has snow piled on him, watches on as Blue radiates heat, causing the snowmelt on and around him to evaporate. Narration: 2: Steam dry Green, still covered in clumps of snow, chases after Blue, who is doing his best to get away from him. Narration: 3: Run for your life Blue: Don't touch me, you wet goblin! Green: But you're warm!
Foxes in Love
Foxes in Love
@FoxesInLove@social.neonpaws.digital  ·  activity timestamp 19 hours ago
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are coming home, still squinting from the cold winter air, with snow piled on top of both of them. Narration: Steps of coming in from the snow: Still wearing a snow pile, Green watches as Blue closes his eyes, waiting for his body heat to simply melt the snow off himself, with rivulets of snowmelt running down his body, collecting into a puddle beneath him. Narration: 1: Melt off the snow Green, who still has snow piled on him, watches on as Blue radiates heat, causing the snowmelt on and around him to evaporate. Narration: 2: Steam dry Green, still covered in clumps of snow, chases after Blue, who is doing his best to get away from him. Narration: 3: Run for your life Blue: Don't touch me, you wet goblin! Green: But you're warm!
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are coming home, still squinting from the cold winter air, with snow piled on top of both of them. Narration: Steps of coming in from the snow: Still wearing a snow pile, Green watches as Blue closes his eyes, waiting for his body heat to simply melt the snow off himself, with rivulets of snowmelt running down his body, collecting into a puddle beneath him. Narration: 1: Melt off the snow Green, who still has snow piled on him, watches on as Blue radiates heat, causing the snowmelt on and around him to evaporate. Narration: 2: Steam dry Green, still covered in clumps of snow, chases after Blue, who is doing his best to get away from him. Narration: 3: Run for your life Blue: Don't touch me, you wet goblin! Green: But you're warm!
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are coming home, still squinting from the cold winter air, with snow piled on top of both of them. Narration: Steps of coming in from the snow: Still wearing a snow pile, Green watches as Blue closes his eyes, waiting for his body heat to simply melt the snow off himself, with rivulets of snowmelt running down his body, collecting into a puddle beneath him. Narration: 1: Melt off the snow Green, who still has snow piled on him, watches on as Blue radiates heat, causing the snowmelt on and around him to evaporate. Narration: 2: Steam dry Green, still covered in clumps of snow, chases after Blue, who is doing his best to get away from him. Narration: 3: Run for your life Blue: Don't touch me, you wet goblin! Green: But you're warm!
jaz :twt: :wales_flag: and 1 other boosted
Foxes in Love
Foxes in Love
@FoxesInLove@social.neonpaws.digital  ·  activity timestamp 3 days ago
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Green looks delighted as Blue returns home, bruised and battered, looking completely exhausted, with an olive green helmet hanging on his head. Green: Welcome home! How was the airsoft thing? Blue: Pure adrenaline chaos. A flashback image of Blue in the airsoft game, running through chaotic crossfire of noise, little explosions, and tiny plastic beads, eyes wide. Blue, narrating: All blurs into a bedlam of explosions, shouts, confusion and fear. Another view of the game, where Blue is laying on his back on the floor, with another fox - sand-coloured teammate, also wearing a helmet, drags him by the tail, all the while tiny bb-balls are being fired at both of them. Blue, continuing to narrate: Twice I got hit and had to get dragged across a hallway like a rag. Back to the present moment, Green leans towards Blue, who has settled down onto the floor, exhausted but evidently happy. Green: Was it fun? Blue: It was awesome.
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Green looks delighted as Blue returns home, bruised and battered, looking completely exhausted, with an olive green helmet hanging on his head. Green: Welcome home! How was the airsoft thing? Blue: Pure adrenaline chaos. A flashback image of Blue in the airsoft game, running through chaotic crossfire of noise, little explosions, and tiny plastic beads, eyes wide. Blue, narrating: All blurs into a bedlam of explosions, shouts, confusion and fear. Another view of the game, where Blue is laying on his back on the floor, with another fox - sand-coloured teammate, also wearing a helmet, drags him by the tail, all the while tiny bb-balls are being fired at both of them. Blue, continuing to narrate: Twice I got hit and had to get dragged across a hallway like a rag. Back to the present moment, Green leans towards Blue, who has settled down onto the floor, exhausted but evidently happy. Green: Was it fun? Blue: It was awesome.
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Green looks delighted as Blue returns home, bruised and battered, looking completely exhausted, with an olive green helmet hanging on his head. Green: Welcome home! How was the airsoft thing? Blue: Pure adrenaline chaos. A flashback image of Blue in the airsoft game, running through chaotic crossfire of noise, little explosions, and tiny plastic beads, eyes wide. Blue, narrating: All blurs into a bedlam of explosions, shouts, confusion and fear. Another view of the game, where Blue is laying on his back on the floor, with another fox - sand-coloured teammate, also wearing a helmet, drags him by the tail, all the while tiny bb-balls are being fired at both of them. Blue, continuing to narrate: Twice I got hit and had to get dragged across a hallway like a rag. Back to the present moment, Green leans towards Blue, who has settled down onto the floor, exhausted but evidently happy. Green: Was it fun? Blue: It was awesome.
Josh Davis and 2 others boosted
Jen Sorensen
Jen Sorensen
@jensorensen@mastodon.social  ·  activity timestamp 5 days ago
INTRODUCING A HOT NEW STARTUP! Logo on wall: MurderKorp™ BROCK SKEEVES, CEO Brock: OUR BUSINESS MODEL IS SIMPLE: CONNECTING CUSTOMERS WITH ORDINARY PEOPLE WILLING TO MURDER SOMEONE FOR THEM! AN IPO IS ROLLED OUT TV business show anchor: SHARES OF MURDERKORP ARE SLAYING TODAY! IT'S ALL GREEN FOR A COMPANY THAT'S ALWAYS IN THE RED, HA HA! Chart showing shares of MRDR climbing SOME EXPRESS CONCERN Woman: THIS IS COMPLETELY IMMORAL! NOT TO MENTION SOCIOPATHIC! Brock: TSK TSK. IF YOU TRY TO REGULATE THIS INDUSTRY, YOU'RE GOING TO HURT ORDINARY AMERICANS. WE NEED JOBS, NOT EMPATHY. BUSINESS LEADERS WELCOME IT INTO THE FOLD Executive clinking champagne glasses with Brock: WE'VE ALWAYS KILLED PEOPLE INDIRECTLY-- DENYING HEALTHCARE CLAIMS, POLLUTING, GUTTING WORKER SAFETY LAWS--BUT IT'S TIME TO CUT TO THE CHASE! CHEERS!
INTRODUCING A HOT NEW STARTUP! Logo on wall: MurderKorp™ BROCK SKEEVES, CEO Brock: OUR BUSINESS MODEL IS SIMPLE: CONNECTING CUSTOMERS WITH ORDINARY PEOPLE WILLING TO MURDER SOMEONE FOR THEM! AN IPO IS ROLLED OUT TV business show anchor: SHARES OF MURDERKORP ARE SLAYING TODAY! IT'S ALL GREEN FOR A COMPANY THAT'S ALWAYS IN THE RED, HA HA! Chart showing shares of MRDR climbing SOME EXPRESS CONCERN Woman: THIS IS COMPLETELY IMMORAL! NOT TO MENTION SOCIOPATHIC! Brock: TSK TSK. IF YOU TRY TO REGULATE THIS INDUSTRY, YOU'RE GOING TO HURT ORDINARY AMERICANS. WE NEED JOBS, NOT EMPATHY. BUSINESS LEADERS WELCOME IT INTO THE FOLD Executive clinking champagne glasses with Brock: WE'VE ALWAYS KILLED PEOPLE INDIRECTLY-- DENYING HEALTHCARE CLAIMS, POLLUTING, GUTTING WORKER SAFETY LAWS--BUT IT'S TIME TO CUT TO THE CHASE! CHEERS!
INTRODUCING A HOT NEW STARTUP! Logo on wall: MurderKorp™ BROCK SKEEVES, CEO Brock: OUR BUSINESS MODEL IS SIMPLE: CONNECTING CUSTOMERS WITH ORDINARY PEOPLE WILLING TO MURDER SOMEONE FOR THEM! AN IPO IS ROLLED OUT TV business show anchor: SHARES OF MURDERKORP ARE SLAYING TODAY! IT'S ALL GREEN FOR A COMPANY THAT'S ALWAYS IN THE RED, HA HA! Chart showing shares of MRDR climbing SOME EXPRESS CONCERN Woman: THIS IS COMPLETELY IMMORAL! NOT TO MENTION SOCIOPATHIC! Brock: TSK TSK. IF YOU TRY TO REGULATE THIS INDUSTRY, YOU'RE GOING TO HURT ORDINARY AMERICANS. WE NEED JOBS, NOT EMPATHY. BUSINESS LEADERS WELCOME IT INTO THE FOLD Executive clinking champagne glasses with Brock: WE'VE ALWAYS KILLED PEOPLE INDIRECTLY-- DENYING HEALTHCARE CLAIMS, POLLUTING, GUTTING WORKER SAFETY LAWS--BUT IT'S TIME TO CUT TO THE CHASE! CHEERS!
nullagent and 1 other boosted
Foxes in Love
Foxes in Love
@FoxesInLove@social.neonpaws.digital  ·  activity timestamp 2 weeks ago
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue looks at Green in confusion, as Green is covered in pink hair rollers. Green: I'm going to find out what I'd look like with curls! Blue sits down to wait as Green leaves the room. Green: It's time to take the rollers out! Blue sits with the most neutral expression possible as Green returns, as a fluffy cloud of uncontrollable curls. With miraculous self-discipline, Blue manages to keep his expression neutral, while Green frowns at him. Blue: Requesting permission to laugh hysterically. Green: Request denied.
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue looks at Green in confusion, as Green is covered in pink hair rollers. Green: I'm going to find out what I'd look like with curls! Blue sits down to wait as Green leaves the room. Green: It's time to take the rollers out! Blue sits with the most neutral expression possible as Green returns, as a fluffy cloud of uncontrollable curls. With miraculous self-discipline, Blue manages to keep his expression neutral, while Green frowns at him. Blue: Requesting permission to laugh hysterically. Green: Request denied.
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue looks at Green in confusion, as Green is covered in pink hair rollers. Green: I'm going to find out what I'd look like with curls! Blue sits down to wait as Green leaves the room. Green: It's time to take the rollers out! Blue sits with the most neutral expression possible as Green returns, as a fluffy cloud of uncontrollable curls. With miraculous self-discipline, Blue manages to keep his expression neutral, while Green frowns at him. Blue: Requesting permission to laugh hysterically. Green: Request denied.
Foxes in Love
Foxes in Love
@FoxesInLove@social.neonpaws.digital  ·  activity timestamp 3 days ago
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Green looks delighted as Blue returns home, bruised and battered, looking completely exhausted, with an olive green helmet hanging on his head. Green: Welcome home! How was the airsoft thing? Blue: Pure adrenaline chaos. A flashback image of Blue in the airsoft game, running through chaotic crossfire of noise, little explosions, and tiny plastic beads, eyes wide. Blue, narrating: All blurs into a bedlam of explosions, shouts, confusion and fear. Another view of the game, where Blue is laying on his back on the floor, with another fox - sand-coloured teammate, also wearing a helmet, drags him by the tail, all the while tiny bb-balls are being fired at both of them. Blue, continuing to narrate: Twice I got hit and had to get dragged across a hallway like a rag. Back to the present moment, Green leans towards Blue, who has settled down onto the floor, exhausted but evidently happy. Green: Was it fun? Blue: It was awesome.
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Green looks delighted as Blue returns home, bruised and battered, looking completely exhausted, with an olive green helmet hanging on his head. Green: Welcome home! How was the airsoft thing? Blue: Pure adrenaline chaos. A flashback image of Blue in the airsoft game, running through chaotic crossfire of noise, little explosions, and tiny plastic beads, eyes wide. Blue, narrating: All blurs into a bedlam of explosions, shouts, confusion and fear. Another view of the game, where Blue is laying on his back on the floor, with another fox - sand-coloured teammate, also wearing a helmet, drags him by the tail, all the while tiny bb-balls are being fired at both of them. Blue, continuing to narrate: Twice I got hit and had to get dragged across a hallway like a rag. Back to the present moment, Green leans towards Blue, who has settled down onto the floor, exhausted but evidently happy. Green: Was it fun? Blue: It was awesome.
A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Green looks delighted as Blue returns home, bruised and battered, looking completely exhausted, with an olive green helmet hanging on his head. Green: Welcome home! How was the airsoft thing? Blue: Pure adrenaline chaos. A flashback image of Blue in the airsoft game, running through chaotic crossfire of noise, little explosions, and tiny plastic beads, eyes wide. Blue, narrating: All blurs into a bedlam of explosions, shouts, confusion and fear. Another view of the game, where Blue is laying on his back on the floor, with another fox - sand-coloured teammate, also wearing a helmet, drags him by the tail, all the while tiny bb-balls are being fired at both of them. Blue, continuing to narrate: Twice I got hit and had to get dragged across a hallway like a rag. Back to the present moment, Green leans towards Blue, who has settled down onto the floor, exhausted but evidently happy. Green: Was it fun? Blue: It was awesome.
Home Login